​The beauty in ageing can be expressed in many ways. For some it can be about how they view themselves as they age, without judgement and thereby lovingly accepting the tell-tale lines on their face and the sagging skin as the body loses muscle tone, still able to see the beauty in this phase of life.
 
If caught in judgement, there are a trillion expectations, ‘shoulds’ and ‘musts’ we can ‘buy into’ that inhibit our ability to lovingly hold and care for ourselves as we age.
 
For others it is the absolute delight in getting to that age where they can let go of worrying about what others think. Expressing more freely without trying to second-guess what others will be comfortable with, choosing clothes that feel beautiful on their body rather than a ‘look’ to gain approval, so being more authentic.
 
It could be that for some, retirement and letting go of the burdens of holding down a job, raising a family and paying off the mortgage is finding the beauty in ageing, while for others it might be more about an appreciation of how they’ve developed as a person over the years, recognising how much they’ve grown and how that has allowed them to live with more harmony and wisdom in their relationships.
 
We invite you to share with us anything you have noticed about yourself and others that might help to expand our awareness regarding the beauty of ageing.

This month we have three very inspiring articles for you to read.  Un-Retiring by Sandra, Never Too Old by Mary and Misconceptions of Ageing by Gill and Christina.

Their journeys are unique to them but relevant to us all when we live our retirement years with purpose and a commitment to staying engaged with others, we can have very fulfilling, rewarding and happy ‘retirement years’.
 
Last month we also had two very inspiring articles written on this subject. They were Unfolding from Within – Un-retiring by Bernadette and Purpose by Catherine. Both of these authors discovered that un-retirement for them is about an inner journey, a deeper connection to themselves and the importance of bringing that part of themselves to the world around them
 
Let’s continue this conversation knowing that our stories can inspire others to look forward to their ‘un-retiring’ elder years.

In the Google dictionary the meaning of self-entitlement is depicted as someone who believes they are more deserving than another, privileged and more important i.e., what’s yours is mine and what’s mine is mine.

In her article, Family and Self Entitlement (link title of article), Sue writes, “This also supported me in detaching from my sense of entitlement with my blood family. Just because we are blood related doesn’t mean we owe them any more than we would anyone else, or that they owe us.”

Self-entitlement creates a sense of separation and individualism and is at the core of all wars, domestic violence, murder, paedophilia, greed, corruption and all our relationship issues. It’s why we have the global catastrophe of refugees who find themselves homeless in a world where others feel more entitled to live their way exclusively, resulting in enormous human tragedy.

Without this sense of entitlement, we’d be left with humility and the true understanding of equality and brotherhood. It begins with the most subtle thoughts such as “What do I need?” and ends with “I’m entitled to do or say whatever suits me”.
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To what degree have you noticed how self-entitlement imposes on others and impacts our communities? We’d love you to join us in this discussion and share your interpretation of what it means to be self-entitled and how you see it playing out in your own life and the world around you.

In her article, Entitled To Be Human, Bernadette writes, “Entitlement likes us to believe that we are someone, a someone who puts the needs of ourself first, rather than in consideration that we are part of one humanity, and the one universe.”

Self-entitlement creates a sense of separation and individualism and is at the core of all wars, domestic violence, murder, paedophilia, greed, corruption and all our relationship issues. It’s why we have the global catastrophe of refugees who find themselves homeless in a world where others feel more entitled to live their way exclusively, resulting in enormous human tragedy.

Without this sense of entitlement, we’d be left with humility and the true understanding of equality and brotherhood. It begins with the most subtle thoughts such as “what do I need” and ends with “I’m entitled to do or say whatever suits me”.

In her article, Every Day Self-Entitlement, Gayle states, “There are nearly 8 billion people on the planet. If we all push through life led by self-interest, it will be a harsh, combative world.” 
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To what degree have you noticed how self-entitlement imposes on others and impacts our communities? We’d love you to join us in this discussion and share your interpretation of what it means to be self-entitled and how you see it playing out in your own life and the world around you.

​We would love to hear from you about what connection is for you – is it something you are aware of and actively practise, and if you’ve experienced loneliness, how did you overcome it?    

We know that loneliness has tended to be a significant factor of growing older for many elders and can be the result of situations such as one’s own ill health or that of a partner, or impaired mobility. It can also be a period where the network of family and friends has diminished due to having to manage their own ageing issues. All of which can result in a sense that our world or lifestyle sphere has become smaller, less safe and out of touch with the world outside our door.
 
In her article, Loneliness as We Age, Lynne talks about her mother’s loneliness during the early stages of dementia and how a sense of purpose gave her mother a reprieve, ‘Spending time with this gorgeous old woman, who was always pleased to see her, gave Mum a purpose for her day so she felt better and the depression and loneliness lifted a lot. Within roughly eight weeks, the old lady had died and Mum drifted back into her sadness again and her depression and loneliness came back and she’s not ventured into reaching out to others in that way again.

For some it may involve being in nature or making time to do something you’ve always loved but felt you couldn’t or shouldn’t prioritise. Rosemary has written an article ‘Looking Everywhere to Find Myself’  in which she shares that she chose to write a book about her search for the real meaning of Life.
 
Could it be that to ‘find oneself’ it may be as simple as listening to our own body and allowing the impulses within to guide us with everything we do in life, from the most difficult situations to the mundane everyday tasks such as how to breathe,  what food is most nourishing for our own body,  when and how to exercise and when to rest. Is it possible that by not allowing the mind to override our bodily wisdom we then have more clarity and a deeper sense of who we are?
 
There is, of course, a myriad of paths one can take to truly find the Inner Self.
 
In the May Conversation, Gayle commented,  “…..I've tried many, many, MANY ways of finding myself. Most of the time, it didn't work. And the times that I thought something worked, it didn't really last! I am finally on the right track because every day I feel like I am living more of my True Self. I'm quite dedicated to a journey of evolving and expanding my consciousness in order to find my true self.”
 
We look forward to you posting what finding yourself means to you – was it a life-time search or was it something you delved into in your elder years?
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Let’s continue this very meaningful and relevant topic that will bring many new insights into our current topic of ‘Finding Myself Within’.

​Accepting or Adapting . . . do these two words conjure up a different meaning for many of us?  Do they necessarily follow on one after the other?

If we understood that everything in our existence is transitory, then we would be able to accept that changes to the way we live and our relationships with family and friends will not remain fixed. Accepting life’s changes is one thing, but is adapting to the change sometimes put in the ‘too-hard’ basket? 
 
What do we mean by being adaptable? Is it just allowing flexibility and a willingness to try a different way, responding with a different attitude, or to solve a problem without any angst or anxiousness? Perhaps you would like to share with us how you have adapted to the changes in your life.
 
In her article, Flexibility and Adaptability to Change, Bernadette expressed: 

Change ushers in the new, it feels like an expansion and a step into the unknown. To be in the flow of life with the changes enables more steadiness and appreciation for whatever each new day brings.
 
Our topic of conversation for this month is an opportunity for our readers to comment on how they have adapted to changes in their lives. We invite you to share your experiences of how adaptability has shaped the way you live, and how you have accepted and responded to changing circumstances in your life.

​There was no waiting for the first day of the first month of the new year to make the changes, they answered their own personal call to do so at the time of their realisations. Everyone knows what is good for them and what is not, simply because we feel when something is wrong, either it is our body displaying some discomfort, illness or disease or it is our moods and troubling thoughts. We cannot escape that knowing, but we can ignore, numb and deny it – but only for a while – because it will inevitably catch up with us.
 
Reading the male perspective of wanting to make changes in their lives is thought provoking, especially as men usually are reticent about acknowledging they feel their life is not as meaningful as they would like it to be.
 
Our Conversation for February is asking our readers to comment on their experiences with coming to the end of a cycle and beginning a new one. You don’t have to post a comment from the male perspective, however, if you do have a story to tell about the man in your life making changes and starting a new cycle, we feel our readers would enjoy reading it.

​In essence everyone knows what is good for them and what is not, simply because we feel when something is wrong, either it is our body displaying some discomfort, illness or disease or it is our moods and troubling thoughts. We cannot escape that knowing but we can ignore, numb and deny it – but only for a while – because it will inevitably catch up with us at some point. 

This first month of the new year is often a time when we are willing to examine ourselves more deeply.
 
We would like to hear from you whether you feel there is something about this first month of the new year that feels more significant? Why is it that many of us are prompted by the ‘New Year’ to take stock and get an overview of our life? Is it because we have  sense of it being the end of a cycle and the beginning of another? If so, why do we wait until the new year to start a cycle when every day, every moment is the opportunity for a new beginning?
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Our Topic of Conversation for January is asking our readers to comment on their experiences with coming to the end of a cycle and beginning a new one.

​If you are someone who makes New Year’s Resolutions have they worked for you or have you found it hard to carry them through? What has supported you to commit to the changes you felt to make in your life? 

We invite you to share your comments  by clicking on the comments button below.​  ​

If we understood that everything in our existence is transitory then we would be able to accept that changes to the way we live and our relationships with family and friends will not remain fixed in any way. We would then be more open to accepting the changes that signal to us that impermanence is part of the natural flow of life.
 
But how often do we hear the saying, “I hate change . . . I wish things could always stay the same’!
 
When we are not willing to accept change, it may be that we are feeling anxious about the future, or that we are clinging to our need for stability and security.

Do we have an inbuilt trait to want to control life’s happenings?
 
Our topic of conversation for this month is an opportunity for our readers to comment on how we feel about the impermanence of life. We invite you to share your experiences of how impermanence has shaped the way you live, and how you have responded to changing circumstances in your life.

​This month we continue with our topic of conversation  'Our Future, Let’s Celebrate,' and we are keen to hear from our readers what you see there is to celebrate in your Elder Years.

When we were younger celebrating might have been something exciting like a birthday party with all its ‘bells and whistles’, or it might have been any event that was exciting and stimulating – usually needing ‘others’ to join in the celebration. Now in our elder years ‘celebrate’ has taken on a deeper meaning: to honour, observe, recognise, acknowledge and appreciate the beauty of us being in ‘Full Bloom’.

Before posting a comment you may like to read our new  article on the Wisdom of Elders page, 'Beauty in Full Bloom'.

To add to the conversation, please click on the 'Comments link' below the 'Like' Button.

It is really important, as we move into our elder years, to give our life meaning and to stay committed to living a fully engaged life.   

Learning and growing is not just the domain of the young, we are just as capable, if not more, of beginning a new phase in learning and growing in our elder years. This is the time when we can explore more deeply what interests us and all those things that we would have loved to have done that we had previously been too busy to include in our life.  

All of this contributes to us having a beautiful purpose as we age by developing a deeper understanding and realisation of what life has to offer us. 

It is up to us to change the pictures and labels that we may be carrying around ageing, and to alter the reality of how many of the aged are treated, so that we are setting the model for generations coming after us. We invite you to share with us how you are remaining committed to living a fully engaged life.  Perhaps you would like to share how you are learning and growing through exploring more deeply what you had previously been too busy to include in our life. We look forward to reading your comments.

Before posting any comments if you have not already done so, you may also like to read the new article this month 'What Does Our Future Hold Part 3: How Can we Prepare for Our future?'

Whilst longer life spans are on the increase, and though we may celebrate this, is this really a good statistic, or is it that most older people are simply living longer in poor health and needing nursing home care for the later years of their life?
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How do you feel about this topic, ‘What Does the Future Hold’ for our elder generation and what are your experiences and ponderings as to how you will contribute to changing the present paradigm held by society?

Before posting any comments if you have not already done so, you may also like to read last month's article 'Ageing in Society - What Does our Future Hold?' and the new article this month '​​What Does Our Future Hold?  Part 2: Empowerment for Elders'.

​Some days are really bad and it is challenging for a carer to watch a loved one in distress not knowing if they are going to die today, tonight, in a few months, or in a year’s time. 
 
The carer needs to take great care to support their body because they have to be fit enough to handle these emotional ups and downs as well as being physically fit to do all the necessary tasks.
 
The more carers can support themselves, the more easily they can cope with the challenges each day presents.

​Please join our conversation topic for this month and share any experience where you have  been in the situation of caring for a sick or dying person and if so, how did you cope?

You may also like to read this month's articles 'Good Days and Bad Days' and 'No True Care without Self Care'.