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EXPECTATIONS

1/10/2022

3 Comments

 
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Our Topic of Conversation for October is the continuing discussion around Expectations, our focus being to seek a deeper understanding of what they really are and how they can impact our relationships.

​When we have an expectation of ourselves, another person, a situation or event, we are setting ourselves up for, at the very least, some disappointment. 
The moment we’ve realised that a promise has not been kept or we feel let down in some way, our ‘picture’ is smashed, often resulting in an emotional reaction which can be as mild as a slight irritation right through to a full-on rage.

This reaction exposes where we are holding either ourselves or other people to account and requiring a level of perfection – not allowing the true flow of life.

How many times in our life have we experienced the fallout of our expectations going awry and the ensuing drama? We can be extremely hard on ourselves and others – sometimes the resentment or judgement can last for years!

What then is the opposite, or counter, to holding expectations of ourselves and others? How might we live in a way that is more respectful of people’s choices and rhythms, thereby offering the space for a shift in outcome when things just don’t work out for whatever reason? Certainly, being less hard on everyone when things don’t go to plan can be very liberating and allows love to flow instead.

​We invite you to share your valuable observations and experience of expectations.
3 Comments
Gill Randall link
1/9/2022 04:14:03 pm

I know this one very well! I have had many times where I've had expectations of what I think is going to happen, and then it hasn't gone according to my plan. In relationships, we can expect people to behave in a certain way and feel very let down when they don't, but that is such an imposition on that person. I am learning to not expect and simply allow decisions or events to unfold, and there is a liberation in that.

I have a house sale going on at the moment and expected it to sell easily (was told by the agent that it would go quickly) and it's being a very tricky situation. Lots of people I meet recall similar past situations and talk of the frustration it causes, which I can relate to, but when I let go of the expectations, it will be whatever it will be and there's always a learning with whatever the outcome.

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Bernadette Curtin
7/9/2022 10:47:01 am

Yes Gill, I know this one well too! Feeling let down or expecting others to behave in a certain way means we are setting ourselves up for disappointment and unsettlement. The mind wants to keep returning to the situation when it has not been addressed, and as you have shared, the antidote to this frustration lies within our self, to let go of expectations and learn from the situation. When life is lived this way, the big issues dissolve as we detach from the thoughts and the mind, get back into our body and enjoy the offerings that present each day.

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Gayle
25/9/2022 10:35:22 am

Expectations! They can be so, so subtle we don't even realise that they are expectations. We just think 'this is the way it is, this is the way it will be, this is the way I feel' etc. As the two contributors above have already nominated, especially true about expecting others to behave, react, respond in a certain way and when they don't, we are left confused! One of my new markers about whether I had an expectation or not is if I find myself feeling 'surprised' about something. Why am I surprised? Because I had an expectation of some sort. I expected things to go smoothly, I expected them to be difficult. I expected something and it didn't happen the way I was expecting, and I'm surprised!

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