THE BEAUTY IN AGEING

1/2/2021

Our February Topic of Conversation is encouraging us to be curious. What is The Beauty in Ageing really saying to us? In this month’s edition we have three wonderful articles written by authors offering some of their own insights and understanding of the ageing process, ‘Beautiful and Old’ by Ingrid, ‘Love is the Best Medicine’ by the Death & Dying Team and ‘The Joy of Being Engaged’ is a collection of vignettes from the Joy of Ageing website* team.

The beauty in ageing can be expressed in many ways. For some it can be about how they view themselves as they age, without judgement and thereby lovingly accepting the tell-tale lines on their face and the sagging skin as the body loses muscle tone, still able to see the beauty in this phase of life.

For others it is the absolute delight in getting to that age where they can let go of worrying about what others think. Expressing more freely without trying to second-guess what others will be comfortable with, choosing clothes that feel beautiful on their body rather than a ‘look’ to gain approval, so being more authentic.

It could be that for some, retirement and letting go of the burdens of holding down a job, raising a family and paying off the mortgage is finding the beauty in ageing, while for others it might be more about an appreciation of how they’ve developed as a person over the years, recognising how much they’ve grown and how that has allowed them to live with more harmony and wisdom in their relationships.

Gayle commented, ‘Fortunately, the grace of ageing helps us see through those superficial markers of what beauty is’.

We invite you to share with us anything you have noticed about yourself and others that might help to expand our awareness regarding the Beauty in Ageing.

10 Comments

Gayle Cue

2/1/2021 03:38:25 pm

I love that this question is posed. In truth I do still sort of get surprised when I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror. Who is that older woman? And even more startled when I see a photograph of myself.So if I were to take a marker based on looks or smoothness of skin, it would be difficult to find the beauty in ageing. Fortunately, the grace of ageing helps us see through those superficial markers of what beauty is. With each passing day, I love myself more deeply because I love everyone more deeply. That, to me, is the true beauty of ageing. I feel as we age, we have the opportunity to embrace humanity as a whole, we are less obsessed with our own individuality. We are no longer striving to accomplish the big impossible tasks, we are easier on ourselves and others. These are the movements of the beauty of ageing.

Annie Mack

11/1/2021 12:40:15 pm

Yes if I look only at outer appearance in the mirror without really looking at who I am, then it can be quite surreal and could I say depressing at times, as I don't feel like a woman in her 60's. However when I look beyond my physical appearance I can truly feel the beauty and qualities of what I hold within and then ageing is welcomed as I know without my years gone past I would not have the wisdom in my body for myself and others which grows all the stronger as the years go by.

Bernadette Curtin

3/1/2021 08:18:30 am

When the beauty, delicateness and appreciation is felt on the inside it radiates out beyond the wrinkles and white hair for others to feel. There is beauty in ageing when young people feel safe in our elder presence, when they feel loved and respected, and when they can just be themselves. The beauty in ageing has a lot to do with what we bring to others.

Lynne Paull-McLeod

12/1/2021 12:00:32 pm

I love what you have each shared here ladies. True beauty comes from our essence, who we truly are within. I noticed years ago that I could look at myself in the mirror when I'm being critical of myself and only see the flaws, an ugliness. Yet five minutes later, having realised I was being hard on myself and adopting a more loving approach, the reflection in the mirror looking back at me would be quite beautiful. It's astounding how often I would see this happen, and can still today if I'm having a bit of a rough day. It's a great marker for me.

Kathryn Fortuna link

26/1/2021 04:48:21 pm

The physicalness of ageing is challenging for sure! But when I read the depth and beauty of the comments shared here, I can feel a wisdom in all these women. It is rich and timeless. Beauty is for the all and beyond our physical selves. Ageing is the gift because it asks us to let go of the picture and surrender to the internal being. To learn to love how we move and live day to day with humanity, not what we look like.

Gayle

3/2/2021 07:56:55 am

Reflecting on the topic at hand, I started appreciating all the aspects of myself that I now embrace and enjoy - that weren't part of me when I was younger. They are the intangible qualities of patience, compassion, allowing others to make their own choices without thinking I know what is best for them, being present in the most ordinary moments of the day and suddenly finding those ordinary moments quite extraordinary. And the list goes on. Is it possible to have lived this way when I was younger? Yes, I feel it is totally possible but in my case I was distracted by all the glamour and activity of life, living from the outside in. This is the beauty of ageing, we eventually get to this state of grace. Perhaps through our living example we can light the way for younger generations to get there sooner!

Ruth Anderssen

5/2/2021 07:48:11 am

We so often hear the phrase that we need to start to deeply appreciate ourselves from the 'inside out' rather than the 'outside in'. Society has been so conditioned with the media hype that places emphais on the pictures of what we should look like and with avast range of ideals and beliefs that we accept the imposing on us of 'what beauty should look like'. However, as elders we are discarding all of the imposing conditions we have lived with to now accept and honour that 'beauty does indeed come from within'. I know I have learnt to feel just how beautiful my inner essence is and that it does radiate from the inside out -- no more masks, no more feeling that I 'should be doing' this or that to make me beautiful -- just complete acceptance that my beauty is emanated from within.

Ruth Anderssen

5/2/2021 10:31:45 am

We so often hear the phrase that we need to start to deeply appreciate ourselves from the 'inside out' rather than the 'outside in'. Society has been so conditioned with the media hype that places emphasis on the pictures of what we should look like and with a vast range of ideals and beliefs that we accept the imposing on us of 'what beauty should look like'. However, as elders we are discarding all of the imposing conditions we have lived with to now accept and honour that 'beauty does indeed come from within'. I know I have learnt to feel just how beautiful my inner essence is and that it does radiate from the inside out -- no more masks, no more feeling that I 'should be doing' this or that to make me beautiful -- just complete acceptance that my beauty is emanated from within.

Rosemary Liebe

6/2/2021 12:30:58 pm

I have found an inner beauty and connection with myself that in my 67th year is worth more, much more than any outer attractiveness or beauty that I may have had as a younger woman. This inner beauty and joy is there constantly and when truly deeply connected with I feel it emanate from me and my physical aged appearance no longer exists from or in this centre of expression, this I also witness and experience in other elder women who have found and claimed their inner connection to self. This does not mean there are not moments of self doubt or dismay when one catches a glimpse of oneself in a shop window or mirror but the beauty within is ever waiting for me to just drop back in where the self doubts and aged appearance, and age itself do not exist. Now to have known and lived this inner connection as a younger woman would've changed my life considerably so I love what Gayle said in her comment "Perhaps through our living example we can light the way for younger generations to get there sooner!" How wonder-full that would be!

Gayle

24/2/2021 07:37:56 am

This is a follow on from the conversation above although it takes it in another direction. Having broken my right arm two months ago, I find myself suddenly living in a body I'm not at all used to. Although I'm now cast free, I still have months of physio therapy ahead of me to regain use of my arm. I'm on a new playing field learning what I can and cannot do and when it is time to rest. I could, and sometimes do, bemoan this state of affairs but have realised I can explore and even evolve with acceptance that this is now part of my ageing process. And I can do it with sadness and a focus on the pain OR I can stay connected to the abundance on offer when I live from our eternal essence where there is beauty to be found in all circumstances - even that of ageing in a damaged body.

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