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SELF-ENTITLEMENT

1/10/2020

8 Comments

 
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In October, our conversation delves further into the discussion about self-entitlement and the ways this belief impacts our lives. Sharing her experience as a teenager Sandra has commented, “Self-entitlement takes everything for granted and offers very little in return” while Gayle has written about her observation of a thoughtless incident in a carpark (or maybe not so thought-less) where she heard a woman say,  "Oh yes, you go ahead, your needs are greater than mine."
In the Google dictionary the meaning of self-entitlement is depicted as someone who believes they are more deserving than another, privileged and more important i.e., what’s yours is mine and what’s mine is mine.

In her article, Family and Self Entitlement, Sue writes, “This also supported me in detaching from my sense of entitlement with my blood family. Just because we are blood related doesn’t mean we owe them any more than we would anyone else, or that they owe us.”

Self-entitlement creates a sense of separation and individualism and is at the core of all wars, domestic violence, murder, paedophilia, greed, corruption and all our relationship issues. It’s why we have the global catastrophe of refugees who find themselves homeless in a world where others feel more entitled to live their way exclusively, resulting in enormous human tragedy.

Without this sense of entitlement, we’d be left with humility and the true understanding of equality and brotherhood. It begins with the most subtle thoughts such as “What do I need?” and ends with “I’m entitled to do or say whatever suits me”.
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To what degree have you noticed how self-entitlement imposes on others and impacts our communities? We’d love you to join us in this discussion and share your interpretation of what it means to be self-entitled and how you see it playing out in your own life and the world around you.
8 Comments
Jill Steiner
2/10/2020 01:18:25 pm

What comes up for me when reading about being self-entitled is the mother role, which I have used many times in wanting to control my son's lives, feeling that as their mother I have a right to voice my opinion about what they should or should not do. It can be quite insidious as it can come under the banner of being a good mother, a caring mother, but in reality so very harming. Thankfully these days I am much more aware of this controlling behaviour and learning to respect another's choices knowing it is all part of their learning. Who am I to interfere with their process? I can now offer them space knowing that they too have their own inner guidance.

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Gayle
18/10/2020 04:02:45 pm

Hi Jill & everyone - I feel as women, looking at our self-entitlement in our roles as mothers (and grandmothers) is essential to unwinding the storyline we have been programmed with. To embrace family members as no different to anyone else we might have a relationship with is not an easy ask! But just this morning I was speaking with a group of mothers who are doing just this. Even when speaking to a teenage daughter or son who is acting out, trying to find their independence, we have a responsibility to speak to them with the same space and respect that we would any teenage person facing life. Just because they are 'family' does not mean that they owe us or we owe them anything less than clear communication. This is also true for our 'adult children'. They have come through us but do not belong to us. However they choose or do not choose to interact with us, cannot be forced on them by another. I really love that you have exposed the self-entitlement in family roles.

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Ingrid Langenbruch link
19/10/2020 08:38:56 am

It is so valuable to give other people and especially our kids and family members the space to make their own choices and not impose on them.
I used to have strong ideas and beliefs which I tended to impose on other people because I felt entitled to know better. It feels great to let go of that and let other people be and give them space to do their learnings in life. That also gives myself more space.

Reply
Elizabeth Douglas
7/10/2020 04:49:21 pm

Truly lovely to read all these expressions about self-entitlement and one can relate to all of them. When we come to the understanding of what self-entitlement entails as in knowing what it looks and feels like on the outside and the inside, our next step is to embody that understanding, then we are in the flow of oneness. For me this is when I realise that all I receive and all that flows through me/us, is not for self but for all as God cannot respond to individualism, the only response is to the all, for the all. Self-entitlement is just another lie to keep us from our glory. No bashing here as we all allow and deepen. We all get it because we’ve all already got it. It is within our enfoldment into the fold. This feels lovely to be one of the many in the fold of ageing joyously.

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Gayle
18/10/2020 04:13:59 pm

i agree Elizabeth. Ageing Joyfully is such a blessing that it far outshines all the slowing down and the stiff knees (or whatever physical limitations may start to appear in our 70's.) From my own lived experience, I don't feel I would have understood self-entitlement in my younger years. I was too busy trying to be an individual, to stand out in a crowd. And now, I understand that the only way out of this chaos is to quit being individuals and to approach life as One. When we think and act as one, there is no room for self-entitlement.

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Lynne Paull-McLeod
19/10/2020 05:12:15 pm

I so agree ladies, this notion of mine that had me believing that I was entitled to have people behave pristinely around me and if they didn't then I was entitled to be judgemental of such behaviour, and the person, was just a wee bit hard to accept. Ouch!! When I stopped to really look at this belief and feel the arrogance of it I felt a deep commitment within to expose any remnants of it and to allow the joy of equality and observance instead.

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Gayle Cue
26/10/2020 07:18:18 am

It is like when we buy a new car, suddenly we notice how many other people are driving the same make and model. Once we start seeing self-entitlement, it is everywhere. Both within ourselves and others. It’s quite fascinating - and a great opportunity to observe and not react.

Reply
Elizabeth Douglas
26/10/2020 11:54:30 am

I agree with all the comments placed here in this article, it has expanded greatly over the past year. What I have noticed is that the self-entitlement in the world now-a-days is even more visible because of the money handouts given freely from the onset of Covid-19. Everyone has their hand out for their piece of the pie that they think they are entitled to, yet do not realise that we are the pie. We are the ones who will pay indefinitely, for there are truly no handouts from any government, it always looks for something in return. Self-entitlement always comes back and kicks us in the ass. Whether it is individually or globally.

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