When my husband and I separated, I felt that, being 70 years old, I would not find another lover/partner again and that senior dating was not for me. I wasn’t even open to it because I felt that I needed first of all to deepen my relationship with myself. I no longer knew who I was because I had been identifying with the role of being a wife for so long, and besides, was it too late to date?
Then one morning I woke up: ‘It’s time’. . . I just had the knowing that I was ready for a true relationship with a man.
So I went on an Online Dating site and set up my Profile. Though it was not specifically a senior dating site you can state your age range preferences and can list your basic attributes such as your height, weight, whether you drink socially or otherwise, whether you are okay being with a smoker or not, what your interests are etc., and then you can write something personal about yourself.
I spent a long time writing about myself and it was a great exercise in that I came to appreciate the wealth that I had to offer in a relationship and also to confirm to myself what I would no longer tolerate in a relationship. I could not envisage living with someone with firm-set beliefs, or someone who was just looking for a travelling companion, a ‘mother’ or a ‘nurse’.
I was ready for someone who was his own man, who did not want a relationship out of need, someone who was willing to deepen in love without making it personal and someone who was not just living for himself but had a sense of contributing as a member of humanity.
I was swamped with replies (normal when ‘new blood’ goes on the site) and it became clear to me that many men find it hard to express and are in fact very sensitive, and they are, deep down, looking for love. I responded each time to the energy of their reply, encouraging them to express and I began an in-depth conversation with a few men who were willing to open up and share.
Eventually, I went out on a few dates making sure that we were meeting in a public place. Though I was initially a bit nervous, it was fun to meet people from all walks of life and to get a window into their life. They were all interesting men and had much to offer, but in all cases, on meeting them, I knew instantly that these men were not for me. There was not that ‘something’ that resonates in the body.
I then attracted a scammer, which is another story, [Ladies Beware!] so I hid my Profile and just went in every now and again to look at the photos that come up on the screen in response to the parameters that you give. I wanted to see who would pop up in the 60’s age bracket and I saw a few men and messaged them but most were not interested, being put off by my age.
Little did they realise that I might be as spunky as any young thing they might imagine themselves with, plus I had the added bonus of the steadiness that age brings.
One day I was scrolling through the photos and I saw a smiling face, which took my attention. I felt a huge ‘Yes’ in my body so I messaged him and he messaged me back straight away and then we spoke on the phone and he suggested we meet . . . today!
I sure like this kind of spontaneity, especially after my experience with the scammer who kept putting off meeting up. Mr X drove for three hours and rocked up on my doorstep.
A moment of anxiety…“What am I doing?” I’m about to open the door to someone I have never met. I stopped for a moment and felt my body. . . I detected no warning signals so I took a deep breath and opened the door . . .
My body instantly relaxed, my heart opened as I felt who he was; a sweet, gentle, caring man, very grounded, very much his own man. Love at first sight? Felt like it for both of us, and the more we get to know each other, the more we are deepening in love.
So, you single people out there, know that it is never too late to date. Senior dating is worth trying. You just have to open yourself up to possibilities and it can be a lot of fun and bring opportunities to share your love.
Sandra N, Australia
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