On the days where she looked old, she was identified with the pain, a bit grumpy and not wanting to be where she was. It was hard going for her and she sometimes wanted to give up. Her breath was laboured, as were her movements, and I was aware of the wrinkles of suffering on her face and the ‘gravity’ of the situation. It was as if she had been grabbed by gravity, allowing herself to be weighed down. I felt I could also get dragged down by it if I went into sympathy or wanted it to be different.
Other times she felt light, her skin was translucent, radiating a beauty that was otherworldly. In those days she was joyous, childlike and free with a playful sense of humour and you would not have known she had a terminal illness.
It was as if she was observing herself, allowing herself to feel and express and accepting things as they were rather than resisting. Even the pain did not affect her so much. She was totally present and so aware of everything. She would sense what I was feeling and pre-empt the state of people about to visit. She was ruthlessly honest, never holding back what she needed to express. It was as if she had finally given herself permission to be her true self instead of the person, she thought she should be.
So, what is it that makes the difference here? The same physical body, suffering the same disease yet appearing to be so totally different?
When she looked old, she was more identified with the problem and felt heavy and contracted, although she never completely lost her sense of humour. When she looked so beautiful, she was not identified with her situation. There was a timeless quality about her and she could have been any age. Sometimes she was like a small baby delighting in the simple joy of being. Sometimes much wisdom would pour forth and the beauty of the woman was palpable. It was as if she was tapping into an ancient wisdom which she was allowing herself to be spokeswoman for.
This, to me, is magnificence at play – when we allow beauty, love and wisdom to pour through us unobstructed by our individual self.
I am reminded of the old saying: Praise the Lord and magnify Him. I never could relate to it as it felt like it was referring to a figure out there. But could it perhaps be referring to magnificence at play? Are we perhaps like magnifying glasses for others to witness the detail of the workings of God on earth?
By allowing magnificence to be at play we are used as instruments to glorify and magnify love, truth and beauty on earth.
Sandra N. Australia
If you enjoyed this article you may also like to read:
Sensitivity while Living and in Dying
Other times she felt light, her skin was translucent, radiating a beauty that was otherworldly. In those days she was joyous, childlike and free with a playful sense of humour and you would not have known she had a terminal illness.
It was as if she was observing herself, allowing herself to feel and express and accepting things as they were rather than resisting. Even the pain did not affect her so much. She was totally present and so aware of everything. She would sense what I was feeling and pre-empt the state of people about to visit. She was ruthlessly honest, never holding back what she needed to express. It was as if she had finally given herself permission to be her true self instead of the person, she thought she should be.
So, what is it that makes the difference here? The same physical body, suffering the same disease yet appearing to be so totally different?
When she looked old, she was more identified with the problem and felt heavy and contracted, although she never completely lost her sense of humour. When she looked so beautiful, she was not identified with her situation. There was a timeless quality about her and she could have been any age. Sometimes she was like a small baby delighting in the simple joy of being. Sometimes much wisdom would pour forth and the beauty of the woman was palpable. It was as if she was tapping into an ancient wisdom which she was allowing herself to be spokeswoman for.
This, to me, is magnificence at play – when we allow beauty, love and wisdom to pour through us unobstructed by our individual self.
I am reminded of the old saying: Praise the Lord and magnify Him. I never could relate to it as it felt like it was referring to a figure out there. But could it perhaps be referring to magnificence at play? Are we perhaps like magnifying glasses for others to witness the detail of the workings of God on earth?
By allowing magnificence to be at play we are used as instruments to glorify and magnify love, truth and beauty on earth.
Sandra N. Australia
If you enjoyed this article you may also like to read:
Sensitivity while Living and in Dying