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ACCEPTING SUPPORT

27/2/2018

 
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Support wasn’t a word that I can remember being used as I was growing up. Rather you were expected to stand on your own two feet, become independent and not need anyone. If you were needy it was looked upon as a weakness.  The idea of ‘how do I support myself’ apart from having a job didn’t enter my head. Not so today, the word support is heard everywhere! 
There are groups of people supporting this or that, hotlines for people to ring when life gets tough and they need someone to speak to for support, even the government setting up support programs for the youth, and various other segments of our society. I don’t think there has ever been a time when so much support has been on offer. 
 
Some time ago I was asked “how does my home support me?” This question sounded strange to me at first, it was something I had not even thought about. But since then I have been opening up to feeling into the word ‘support’ in a different light and to feel if my home was actually set up to support me. 
 
All my life I have loved being able to do for myself and prided myself on being able to do what needed to be done. Being independent was fine when I was young but now being in my seventies I have had to realise that a loving thing for me to do was to be open to accepting support when I realised I needed it.
 
It took time for me to realise that I could no longer keep pushing my body like I used to. A big wake-up call presented itself when I, through doing heavy work, and disregarding my body, I ended up with two hernias which then needed to be operated on.
 

Accepting or asking for help felt very strange to me and this I resisted doing so for some time until my son and his wife came for a visit, and while they were here they decided to sweep my pathways for me. It took a little time for me to accept their offer, but I finely gave in. As I chatted with them while they worked I was feeling a little uncomfortable not helping, but I soon realised how loving their support for me was and the feeling of appreciation and love I felt towards them was just beautiful. 
 
I did have a hiccup at a later date when my grandson came to help move bricks for me. He was fine doing it, but I just had to step in and help, a lifelong pattern of mine. Just as I picked up the second brick I dropped it on my foot, and as I hobbled away in pain I said to myself “This is a lesson I should never forget.” 
 
These days I so appreciate being supported by my husband with the chores around the house and the gardener who comes in on a regular basis to help with the garden. Being open to appreciate and accept support has brought about a deeper heartfelt connection between us all.
 
I appreciate that I have chosen to listen to and be gentle and tender with my ageing body, if I can allow and accept the wisdom that it has to offer, I will indeed age gracefully.     
 
Jill S.,  Tweed Heads Australia
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