 | How a photograph of an elder woman had me pondering on my relationship with my own ageing. A request from the Joy of Ageing website asked for permission to use a photograph taken recently. The subject heading read ‘Your amazing photo!’ |
When I looked at the photo, I did not feel the amazingness of the elder woman looking back at me. Was that me? Yes it was. But it was not an image I expected or accepted.
At first I was critical, saw ‘the what is not’, not ‘the what is’. Even though I was the one that asked to have a portrait photo taken in the first place, when this offering came, there was hesitation. I questioned if this photo was the one I would have chosen for the website. I attempted to write a response to the sender suggesting another photo be used instead, or a photo shoot perhaps. I felt discomfort. But why? I stopped in my tracks.
Was there something I was missing and needed to acknowledge within myself?
I knew that any movement away from truth removed me from my body, from the simplicity and responsiveness to an offering from Heaven. And if it did, what was going on?
I went deeper.
And recognised immediately what was being offered to respond to.
But … there was still resistance. What did I not want to see?
Justification said, “It’s because I want a photograph where I’ve had time to prepare, put on my make-up, wear a different top.”
Soul said, “No that’s not it.”
Here before me was a photograph of an elder woman, wise, powerful, beautiful. But what I first saw was an elder woman, aged, wrinkled, with greying hair. How bizarre!
Had I crossed the line to elderhood without realising? These movements exposed that I still carried a picture within myself which focussed on the younger me, on the physical, not the inner self, my true essence. It exposed an attachment to a false self. It exposed the classic lie that we are physical first, not energy.
Even with the knowing of how elders are viewed and regarded in the western world, I momentarily was unable to connect to the gold of the elder before me.
The western world with its focus on the inconsequential, does not value elders. It side-lines them, and many elders side-line themselves. The trick played convinces women in particular, as they get older, that there is something wrong with them. Then begins the trying to delay, deny, cover up, cut out any sign of ageing. Make-up is used to hide wrinkles – and why would we want to? Photoshop is a program used by photographers to erase blemishes and wrinkles after a photo shoot. The photo of me was without filters.
Though this elder considers herself to be purposeful, responsive, fully present, works, contributes, and values every day, in every way, she still fell into the trap of holding onto an idealised picture by wanting to ‘be seen’ as being younger than her years.
The call – to fully embrace myself as a wise elder woman.
The photograph, a beautiful offering, reveals an elder woman in all her amazingness, settled within herself, without adornment, need of props or make-up to validate her. She just is.
And in embracing who she is in full, she lives and moves in celebration of all that she is and in this authority and appreciation of herself crosses the line into true elderhood.
Kehinde J., UK
If you enjoyed this article you may also like to read:
Magnificence at Play
At first I was critical, saw ‘the what is not’, not ‘the what is’. Even though I was the one that asked to have a portrait photo taken in the first place, when this offering came, there was hesitation. I questioned if this photo was the one I would have chosen for the website. I attempted to write a response to the sender suggesting another photo be used instead, or a photo shoot perhaps. I felt discomfort. But why? I stopped in my tracks.
Was there something I was missing and needed to acknowledge within myself?
I knew that any movement away from truth removed me from my body, from the simplicity and responsiveness to an offering from Heaven. And if it did, what was going on?
I went deeper.
And recognised immediately what was being offered to respond to.
But … there was still resistance. What did I not want to see?
Justification said, “It’s because I want a photograph where I’ve had time to prepare, put on my make-up, wear a different top.”
Soul said, “No that’s not it.”
Here before me was a photograph of an elder woman, wise, powerful, beautiful. But what I first saw was an elder woman, aged, wrinkled, with greying hair. How bizarre!
Had I crossed the line to elderhood without realising? These movements exposed that I still carried a picture within myself which focussed on the younger me, on the physical, not the inner self, my true essence. It exposed an attachment to a false self. It exposed the classic lie that we are physical first, not energy.
Even with the knowing of how elders are viewed and regarded in the western world, I momentarily was unable to connect to the gold of the elder before me.
The western world with its focus on the inconsequential, does not value elders. It side-lines them, and many elders side-line themselves. The trick played convinces women in particular, as they get older, that there is something wrong with them. Then begins the trying to delay, deny, cover up, cut out any sign of ageing. Make-up is used to hide wrinkles – and why would we want to? Photoshop is a program used by photographers to erase blemishes and wrinkles after a photo shoot. The photo of me was without filters.
Though this elder considers herself to be purposeful, responsive, fully present, works, contributes, and values every day, in every way, she still fell into the trap of holding onto an idealised picture by wanting to ‘be seen’ as being younger than her years.
The call – to fully embrace myself as a wise elder woman.
The photograph, a beautiful offering, reveals an elder woman in all her amazingness, settled within herself, without adornment, need of props or make-up to validate her. She just is.
And in embracing who she is in full, she lives and moves in celebration of all that she is and in this authority and appreciation of herself crosses the line into true elderhood.
Kehinde J., UK
If you enjoyed this article you may also like to read:
Magnificence at Play