It is a common practice when someone passes over that family and friends attend a funeral or a memorial service to say goodbye to the deceased and sometimes these are grand affairs and sometimes they are simple ceremonies. Most often this leaves people bereft, sad emotional and often filled with regret that maybe they could have visited the dying person more . . .
Why is it as a society we hold back in saying what needs to be truly said from our hearts?
We seem to think that there will always be another opportunity instead of seizing the moment when we are inspired to say “I Love You” or share how we really feel.
Recently I attended a celebration evening for a dear friend who has terminal lung cancer who has only a few months left to live in this life. There were sixteen friends who were asked to write of their experience with our friend who was dying and how they felt about him and what he brought to their lives. These tributes were collated into a folder to present to him on the evening. We had a beautiful shared meal where everyone contributed and brought a dish of delicious food.
There were many tears of joy, as after dinner each of us read what we had written to our dear friend and it was so beautifully expressed from the heart with such honesty and openness that he was clearly touched.
Each person shared a different experience and it was very clear how each of us in this world bring something to everyone in completely different ways. I learned so much more about my friend from the experiences of what others had had with him. When the evening was complete we could all feel the stillness, love and joy in the room and we knew we were being held by heaven. It was a blessing of love for everyone present.
Each one of us in that room will be sad when our friend passes over but there will be no regrets as everything that needed to be said was expressed and it was accepted with grace and dignity and our friend will pass over knowing he was deeply loved.
We do not always have the opportunity to do what was experienced that evening as loved ones can be taken suddenly without any warning but if we are constantly expressing what and how we feel about our family and friends in each and every moment then there is never any regret when they die.
Susan E., Australia
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