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BEING HONEST ABOUT MY AGE

30/9/2017

12 Comments

 
Adele’s article on the Joyful Ageing page has brought up many questions for our Joy of Ageing team and we felt it was a valuable topic of conversation for us to pursue this month.  We trust the following questions will stimulate the discussion around ‘Being Honest About my Age.’
 
As woman, have we ever been really transparent about our age? Is there a tendency of not wanting to tell others our age? Why do we like to hide ‘how old’ we are in years? Are we so locked into what society and the media tell us that we have to look like, and to be, at a certain age?  
 
Many women are concerned with how others will react when we tell them how old we are. Do we feel uncomfortable when we are not honest about telling our age? Is this because we feel age controls how I should be living as in "Am I living my life, or a life that someone else is asking me to live?” 
 

 If we are able to accept and claim whatever age we are at, we are not at the mercy of others’ reactions. When we receive comments such as: “You are not young anymore” which translates to “Don’t you even know that?” or “Act your age!” do we realise this attitude comes from the social conditioning of the stereotype of ageing?
 
Is it possible that we can be truly honest and transparent about our age, when we live fully and are true to ourselves, whatever our age, and not according to any external idea of who or what we should be?
 
 We invite you to and share your comments on this topic. Let the Conversation begin . . .
12 Comments
Bernadette Curtin link
4/10/2017 05:13:49 am

As I grow older and develop a more connected relationship with myself and my body, it is easy to accept my age. I feel the authority in claiming my age as it confirms my experience of life lived and enjoyed.

Reply
ruth anderssen
18/10/2017 07:54:25 pm

Yes Bernadette, developing a loving and nurturing relationship with your 'self' and your body certainly takes away the feeling that you need to hide your age in years. When we are 'comfortable in our skin' and truly honour who we are on the inside, then it is a very freeing feeling to claim our lived years.

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Beverley Croft
13/10/2017 08:28:50 pm

I have come to accept my age since I reached my sixties, and have never hidden my age since then. At 79, I must say that in so many respects I don't feel that I am truly old. I still seem to be very busy in my life, am involved in the community and keep very active. Yes, I do take much more care of myself now, but that is something we should do from any age. I was not so good at it when I was young, but given my time again, I would take much more are of myself always, not just wait for older age to come around. There is much joy to be had as we grow older, we begin to be able to see what is truly important in our lives. I have learned to connect deeply with myself and the more I do that and live from what I feel within, the more and more joy I have come to feel.

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ruth anderssen
18/10/2017 08:02:30 pm

Beverley, your comment ' There is much joy to be had as we grow older, we begin to be able to see what is truly important in our lives' is evidence that growing older can be full of joy if we throw out all the ideals and beliefs we have lived by and which set us up to live in stereotyped patterns of growing older. Letting go of what society, in its many forms, tells us how to look, how to dress, how to behave - is no longer what is important to us - we learn as the years go by to sort the wheat out from the chaff and remain true to ourselves first and society -- last, if not at all!

Reply
Beverley Croft
1/9/2018 05:02:40 am

Yes, Ruth, and the joy grows even more as we continue to age, when we let go of all the ideals and beliefs that we had lived on in our earlier years. I have now reached the ripe old age of 80, it sounds real old, but I have no problem in being honest about that. I guess I am not looking for a partner, have no need for that in my life now, but I still would never rule it out. I have no need for it, that I feel is the key. I enjoy myself with me and with all my friends and I feel no need to hide the fact of my age now. I find I am letting go more and more of the old expectations that come from society, willing to try out new things as they are presented. A truly joyful period I have found, which just grows and grows. And amazingly, the confidence also grows as I grow older, that has been the surprise. I am learning still to let go all the stuff about 'not being good enough', being shy etc., learning to speak up the truth about things and about what is happening in our.absolutely chaotic world. An ongoing journey until the time I pass over, again joyfully.

Gayle Cue
14/10/2017 03:46:33 pm

I'm 66. I don't mind telling people how old I am, in social settings. However, being honest about my age while looking for employment is another matter. To protect people from age discrimination, we are not required to say how old we are when making application for jobs. At this stage being 66 is not a detriment to my ability to climb a set of stairs or type at 75 words per minute. In fact, I am probably a better administrative assistant than most people age 25, however I suspect the 25 year old will get the job! If asked directly, I will be honest about my age - but when I can avoid it, I don't mention my age because it is encumbered by other people's beliefs about what being 66 means.

Reply
Anne McRitchie
18/10/2017 03:15:39 pm

So true Gayle, as soon as we tell our age we are immediately judged to be a certain way as society has so many misconceptions about how people are at a certain age. I enjoy telling people that I am 74 as by doing so I can break down the stereotypes that are so prevalent and reflect that there is another way to age rather than what is commonly accepted by today's society.

Reply
ruth anderssen
18/10/2017 08:10:48 pm

Yes, unfortunately age discrimination in our elder years is still a major issue when we are looking for employment. However, at job interviews,when we present with confidence and in full claiming of our years, our experiences, our expertise, our commitment and our joyfulness then who could refuse to employ us? Employers are beginning to understand and appreciate that we bring on the inside is more important than what we bring on the outside.

catherine bower
1/11/2017 07:08:40 am

I am 73, and people I meet are always surprised - and I find myself increasingly 'shy' of revealing my age to new people. When I could be reflecting to them how joyous it is to live my life the way I do. Anne's comment has opened for me the opportunity for effecting change, and the responsibility I have as a divine human being to shine.

Sandra Newland
26/10/2017 07:41:30 am

Gayle, it's true that there are many beliefs out there about age and though there is not supposed to be any age discrimination in employment I suspect there may be. I am 72 and have been applying for jobs as I want to get back out there in the workforce and I know I could bring my wealth of experience,steadiness, understanding and joy to the world. Though I do not state my age, it is obvious from my CV that I am a mature woman. I have been applying for a wide variety of jobs over the last 4 months and have not been able to get a job as yet. I know there are a lot of people looking for work but, as you say, ' I suspect the 25 year old will get the job!'

Reply
Kathy Avram link
21/10/2017 04:00:00 pm

Being honest with my age has never been an issue in my life. I have always tried to live life in way that I see life as an opportunity to learn each day not only about self but also what life brings into each day to either enjoy or get caught up in the pressures of how to fit in.I have never put importance on age as I feel it is a number of how long we have lived but deep down I do not feel old doesn't matter what my age is, forI feel there is a more deeper knowing and wisdom that I bring through life lived.

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Joan Calder
16/1/2018 04:09:45 am

I have never been shy about saying how old I am either Kathy, and as a child could not understand why my mother would never tell us how old she was, but we always knew my father's age and I feel that was because he was very active and played in a cricket and a lacrosse team till just before he dies aged 74. This makes me wonder how the way my mother felt about herself made it difficult to accept and be transparent about her age, After menopause she declined in health and ability to do many of the things she had before, especially physically, so she may well have felt inferior and disillusioned about herself and compared herself with other women, So much depends on how we feel inside about ourselves as so how honest we can be about something that seems to be so sensitive and made a big thing of in our society. Yet we all know and feel that part of ourselves that always feels the same whether we are one or one hundred!

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