Am I allowed to feel ‘sexy’ at my tender age of being seventy-one, and if so, what does it truly mean to be sexy at this age? This is the question I have been pondering on for a while now... and I feel I am getting closer to understanding what being sexy at seventy means to me, so let me share with you some of my pondering. Is being sexy something I want to aspire to feeling in my body?
Has my understanding and view of being sexy changed since I was a teenager, a young woman, a wife, a mother and now a grandmother. Yes, most definitely! However, that inner awareness of the feelings of joyfulness I get and have always got, from being a very feminine and sexy woman, is a part of me that makes me who I am. And yes, it is just a part of ME and is not my whole being – it is not something that identifies me, nor is it a label that I put on myself to be recognised as a ‘sexy woman’.
So, what does sexy mean to me now as an elder woman in this society that is so wrecked by the wrong and insidious ideals and beliefs that are fed to us through magazines, media, Hollywood role models (and the list of influences goes on and on) of how we are supposed to ‘look, act and behave’ to be considered to be sexy?
I have to start by sharing that I love being a woman. I love showing my tenderness, my delicateness, my femininity. I love looking in my mirror to see the deep radiance and wisdom emanating from my eyes – a true reflection of my connectedness with my innermost essence for all to see. I love dressing to feel and look beautiful and gorgeous. I love buying clothes that support and add a dimension to ‘Me’. I also love wearing slippers and my tatty (but feminine) dressing gown! I love taking long oily baths that nurture my whole body. I love taking care of my skin and wearing make-up that adds a ‘glow’ to ‘Me’.
I love being playful with my husband (of 50 years) in so many different ways – the way I take hold of his hand, the intimate smiles we share, a loving stroke of his back, a gentle kiss, warm and tender cuddles that tell him I love him and find him sexy too. I love making love with my husband. To me, all of these actions and behaviours contribute to me being sexy at seventy!
And, I love being flirtatious! But what does flirtatious mean to me at seventy? It is when I walk, I walk in my femininity, I walk in my fullness of the amazing lady and person I am. It is in the way I connect with my eyes, a little twinkling wink, my all-embracing smile, and my gentle touch on another’s arm – it is my whole being that I offer to others when I am with people. It is in how I use my voice and my stillness to talk and listen with others. It is about showing love and acceptance of others whether they are a man or a woman.
No, it is not in delivering a sexual energy that can be read as such – it is more about delivering the energy that shows the world that I have claimed the beautiful, vibrant, sexy woman that I am.
True sexiness is in loving and honouring the body I’m in, accepting and loving who I am in all my fullness. True sexiness is not something someone else can give you, but what you give yourself through self-love and self-care.
The greatest thing about feeling and acknowledging being sexy at seventy is that I am enjoying everything I do, and I appreciate how I do things more playfully and creatively than I did when I was younger. I live with a sense of freedom that is not controlled or influenced by anyone other than my inner being.
I can claim my innate sexiness and I feel so much more joy in living my life acknowledging that my sexiness is just one facet of my whole being.
Ruth A., Australia