Artist: Bernadette Curtin | No more trying! … to get things right, to fit into the world, to do what is expected, to be what is expected. I can feel I’ve just let go of a lifetime pattern that has held me back from being open to life and true enjoyment, living in a constant state of tension and anxiety. I can feel the Heavens in pure merriment, laughing and rejoicing in this moment of revelation! Hallelujah! She’s got it! |
The depth of understanding in this moment is enormous – and heavenly! It is so clear to me how trying keeps us in ‘struggle-consciousness’. Life is hard, we’re never good enough, always reaching out for something more, to be better, to get things right, to be smarter, faster, more beautiful, more interesting, more efficient, more playful, a better person, better parent, better friend, better listener, better speaker … more and better everything! There is no settlement.
I can feel how this stance in life has created a pressure which has lodged itself firmly into my shoulders, neck and jaw, and, in my intensely staring eyes that are trying to see and read what’s in front of me and (yes) hear what’s being said, as if my eyes were also ears! It’s exhausting – and it’s ageing and none of us want that. Do we?
I’ve seen the effects of the tension that trying creates – how it has shaped my body, my posture, my stance (not only physically but also attitudinally), my self-confidence, self-image and view of life, and view of myself in relation to others. I’ve learnt that trying creates a constant state of anxiety and unsettlement in the body; we don’t move with flow or fluidity and we don’t think with clarity or certainty; we can be plagued with doubt and uncertainty and ultimately not get to enjoy life.
For years I yearned to move with grace and have clarity of thought. I yearned to make decisions with ease, without worrying about making the ‘right’ choice, or being concerned about what’s the right or wrong thing to do. But decades of ‘trying to get it right’ had configured my body into a stiffness that made this hard to do.
Stiff joints don’t move with grace and a stiff mind doesn’t move with fluidity and ease.
It’s time to let go, to soften, relax and allow what’s there to unfold. It’s time to build confidence in my inner knowing and to know that ‘getting things right’ is not what life is all about. You may wonder why I haven’t recognised this before, and it’s true I have. At one stage I used to deliberately get things wrong, in little ways, such as making a typo and leaving it there without correcting it; or ordering the first thing my eyes lit upon on a restaurant menu and ordering that without agonising over whether there was something ‘better’ on the menu that I might like. But these were simply little tricks and really didn’t make any difference to my overall approach of trying in life. I was still trying to get it right in other areas of my life and other decisions. The hardened configuration in my body and mind was unchanged.
It’s taken me a very long time to deeply feel this in my body and now, to feel it leaving … letting go. Now this might sound like I’m setting myself up for another path of trying, another version of trying to be better, but I can assure you it’s not. This is a very beautiful and deep recognition of a path I’ve been on and its devastating effects on my body and mind. It has held me back from loving and appreciating myself. And that is a very sad thing, wouldn’t you agree?
If this life sets us up to always feel we’re not good enough and that we need to be more, then there is something very wrong with this life.
There is no love in the life we call ‘life’. Knowing this, can I walk away from what I always believed was ‘life’ and create a more loving way? In truth, I would say that ‘my life’ depends on it!
I want to rejoice in the magnificence and joy of my being, my true being. Not the ‘being’ on the outside who is determined (it seems) to try and fit me into a world that really isn’t true, and is full of misery and struggle, but a being that loves and loves fully – a being that will allow me to flourish and be love with it, walking together, hand in hand. Hallelujah indeed!
Judy F. Australia
If you enjoyed this article, you may also like to read:
Letting Go of the Need to Get it Right
I can feel how this stance in life has created a pressure which has lodged itself firmly into my shoulders, neck and jaw, and, in my intensely staring eyes that are trying to see and read what’s in front of me and (yes) hear what’s being said, as if my eyes were also ears! It’s exhausting – and it’s ageing and none of us want that. Do we?
I’ve seen the effects of the tension that trying creates – how it has shaped my body, my posture, my stance (not only physically but also attitudinally), my self-confidence, self-image and view of life, and view of myself in relation to others. I’ve learnt that trying creates a constant state of anxiety and unsettlement in the body; we don’t move with flow or fluidity and we don’t think with clarity or certainty; we can be plagued with doubt and uncertainty and ultimately not get to enjoy life.
For years I yearned to move with grace and have clarity of thought. I yearned to make decisions with ease, without worrying about making the ‘right’ choice, or being concerned about what’s the right or wrong thing to do. But decades of ‘trying to get it right’ had configured my body into a stiffness that made this hard to do.
Stiff joints don’t move with grace and a stiff mind doesn’t move with fluidity and ease.
It’s time to let go, to soften, relax and allow what’s there to unfold. It’s time to build confidence in my inner knowing and to know that ‘getting things right’ is not what life is all about. You may wonder why I haven’t recognised this before, and it’s true I have. At one stage I used to deliberately get things wrong, in little ways, such as making a typo and leaving it there without correcting it; or ordering the first thing my eyes lit upon on a restaurant menu and ordering that without agonising over whether there was something ‘better’ on the menu that I might like. But these were simply little tricks and really didn’t make any difference to my overall approach of trying in life. I was still trying to get it right in other areas of my life and other decisions. The hardened configuration in my body and mind was unchanged.
It’s taken me a very long time to deeply feel this in my body and now, to feel it leaving … letting go. Now this might sound like I’m setting myself up for another path of trying, another version of trying to be better, but I can assure you it’s not. This is a very beautiful and deep recognition of a path I’ve been on and its devastating effects on my body and mind. It has held me back from loving and appreciating myself. And that is a very sad thing, wouldn’t you agree?
If this life sets us up to always feel we’re not good enough and that we need to be more, then there is something very wrong with this life.
There is no love in the life we call ‘life’. Knowing this, can I walk away from what I always believed was ‘life’ and create a more loving way? In truth, I would say that ‘my life’ depends on it!
I want to rejoice in the magnificence and joy of my being, my true being. Not the ‘being’ on the outside who is determined (it seems) to try and fit me into a world that really isn’t true, and is full of misery and struggle, but a being that loves and loves fully – a being that will allow me to flourish and be love with it, walking together, hand in hand. Hallelujah indeed!
Judy F. Australia
If you enjoyed this article, you may also like to read:
Letting Go of the Need to Get it Right