After my father and grandparents had died, my mother and us three sisters and the husbands and kids of my sisters kept this tradition going mainly for my mum. We dreaded it beforehand and actually hated it on the day. It was always around food, a lot of food, and not around connecting, and we always overate and held our tummies after, feeling so full and really uncomfortable. I hear similar stories from other people. |
So, what and why are we celebrating? Or are we just following a tradition, a social or family obligation or habit, a ‘should’ when we really feel to do something else and spend the time with other people?
There were and still are, in many cultures, a strong expectation to get together as a family and ‘celebrate’ these yearly events like Christmas or Easter even when you don’t have connections to the church anymore. Over the years, Christmas had become more and more a commercial money-making event. As a family we one day agreed to not give presents anymore because mostly they were not wanted or used and ended up in the OP shop, bin or were passed on.
Eventually, living several hours away from my mum where we always gathered for the big eating events, I started not coming to the Christmas gatherings anymore. It just felt not true. Even the rare getting together with ‘the family’ did not feel true because there were issues and unspoken things poisoning the room. It felt a bit like in the TV soap operas. It felt sad.
Now, living in Australia, I enjoy the ‘festive season’ because there is more space to get together with friends, share a meal and catch up. Around Christmas time I like to gather with different groups of people for a meal, attending several gatherings over the holiday period, and we often share a rather simple meal without alcohol, but the focus is not to eat together but to connect.
These celebrations are so much more joyful than the obligatory overeating and drinking celebratory traditions which for most do not have any meaning anymore except eating and drinking alcohol. With the passing years I became more and more aware of the falsity of these celebrations and I started to initiate what I felt to celebrate.
What are we celebrating? Not Jesus born in a stable. Although I love Jesus.
We celebrate us, our friendship and our connection. And celebrating that can really be on any day.
Ingrid L., Australia
If you enjoyed this article you may also like to read:
Beauty in Full Bloom – Celebration in our Elder Years
There were and still are, in many cultures, a strong expectation to get together as a family and ‘celebrate’ these yearly events like Christmas or Easter even when you don’t have connections to the church anymore. Over the years, Christmas had become more and more a commercial money-making event. As a family we one day agreed to not give presents anymore because mostly they were not wanted or used and ended up in the OP shop, bin or were passed on.
Eventually, living several hours away from my mum where we always gathered for the big eating events, I started not coming to the Christmas gatherings anymore. It just felt not true. Even the rare getting together with ‘the family’ did not feel true because there were issues and unspoken things poisoning the room. It felt a bit like in the TV soap operas. It felt sad.
Now, living in Australia, I enjoy the ‘festive season’ because there is more space to get together with friends, share a meal and catch up. Around Christmas time I like to gather with different groups of people for a meal, attending several gatherings over the holiday period, and we often share a rather simple meal without alcohol, but the focus is not to eat together but to connect.
These celebrations are so much more joyful than the obligatory overeating and drinking celebratory traditions which for most do not have any meaning anymore except eating and drinking alcohol. With the passing years I became more and more aware of the falsity of these celebrations and I started to initiate what I felt to celebrate.
What are we celebrating? Not Jesus born in a stable. Although I love Jesus.
We celebrate us, our friendship and our connection. And celebrating that can really be on any day.
Ingrid L., Australia
If you enjoyed this article you may also like to read:
Beauty in Full Bloom – Celebration in our Elder Years