 | Have you found yourself in conversation with a perfect stranger recently? Where the connection that is made in an instant is deeply personal and trusting? Recently I have had three such encounters, and each of them touched me deeply. It is such a privilege when people open up in conversation, and it goes much deeper than superficial chat. |
The first occasion was when I was visiting a gallery with my husband and a friend, to view very large paintings by a well-known and much admired artist. After we had been walking around in the gallery for a while, one of the volunteer guides approached me and we had a brief exchange about the paintings. Shortly afterwards she came up to my husband and me and asked us about having the vaccine for the Covid virus. We shared how we felt about it and what we were observing in the world as a result of the rules and restrictions being imposed on people.
She shared what was happening in her family, how having the vaccine or not having the vaccine was causing conflict and anxiousness in her family. Behind her mask she was clearly distressed, and the conflict in the family was preying on her mind.
As we stood with her, I could feel how our presence and steadiness was reassuring for her. We were not offering opinions on her situation, or trying to find solutions to her dilemma, or sympathising, but just being there to listen with no agenda. I appreciated the strength of the two of us together, and the power of two when we are at one. She thanked us for the chat and we re-joined our friend and left the gallery.
It seemed that the reason we were present in the gallery at that particular time was for this lady to connect with another person to confirm her feelings and the truth of them. I realised that our visit was not about the paintings but about people needing connection and understanding – to be given the space to express how they are feeling.
The human connection was more meaningful than admiring the art on the walls.
The second encounter with a stranger happened while we were walking in our local park. We had seen this lady before as she is a regular walker like us. As we always greet everyone as we walk past them, we had said good morning to her a number of times before, when on our walks. The other day she was walking at her usual fast pace, but this time she stopped in front of us and offered a lovely compliment and asked about our relationship.
In the next moment she began to tell us about her relationship with her mother, and how difficult it was. She explained how she and her siblings had suffered extreme abuse as children, and now that she was her mother’s carer, the abuse was still happening, although verbal now, not physical. Her mother had kept the door on love closed to her children, and as adults they were still living with the hurt of not being shown love when they were young, and still unable to feel love from her now.
In our state where there is no Covid lockdown in place for now, there is still lockdown and locked out happening in families whenever we keep our love locked up.
We listened to her without having solutions, or sympathy, just standing together as equals, knowing we have all suffered in some way at some time in our life. At the end of our conversation she exclaimed “I can’t believe I have unloaded all this on perfect strangers!” We ended on a lighter note, and she walked away much lighter than she had been coming towards us.
The third encounter was with another lovely woman who came to interview me for support I required inside the home and in the garden. We began talking about the current situation we are finding ourselves in with the restrictions and rules currently being imposed. She shared about her family members who were in lockdown in the city, and how it was impacting the mental health of her son. She was very concerned and shared how when one member of a family, or a friend, is struggling, it can affect those around them. She was very appreciative that she felt she could speak openly with me, as many older people were very fixed in their opinions and closed to conversations that might be challenging their views.
In each of these encounters and conversations, a beautiful connection was made, founded on openness, understanding and love.
In this time of restrictions – locked down, locked up, locked in or locked out – we can keep our hearts open, and make connections that have no borders or boundaries.
Many people are finding life very challenging now, and sometimes it lightens the load to talk to a stranger. It is then we realise that we are not strangers, we are all one humanity.
At heart we all want love and connection, and it can happen in an instant between perfect strangers who are not strangers at all, but equally beautiful sensitive caring souls.
Bernadette C., Australia
If you enjoyed this article for further reading you may also like:
Wisdom Unites Us All – The Joy of Friendships Across Ages
She shared what was happening in her family, how having the vaccine or not having the vaccine was causing conflict and anxiousness in her family. Behind her mask she was clearly distressed, and the conflict in the family was preying on her mind.
As we stood with her, I could feel how our presence and steadiness was reassuring for her. We were not offering opinions on her situation, or trying to find solutions to her dilemma, or sympathising, but just being there to listen with no agenda. I appreciated the strength of the two of us together, and the power of two when we are at one. She thanked us for the chat and we re-joined our friend and left the gallery.
It seemed that the reason we were present in the gallery at that particular time was for this lady to connect with another person to confirm her feelings and the truth of them. I realised that our visit was not about the paintings but about people needing connection and understanding – to be given the space to express how they are feeling.
The human connection was more meaningful than admiring the art on the walls.
The second encounter with a stranger happened while we were walking in our local park. We had seen this lady before as she is a regular walker like us. As we always greet everyone as we walk past them, we had said good morning to her a number of times before, when on our walks. The other day she was walking at her usual fast pace, but this time she stopped in front of us and offered a lovely compliment and asked about our relationship.
In the next moment she began to tell us about her relationship with her mother, and how difficult it was. She explained how she and her siblings had suffered extreme abuse as children, and now that she was her mother’s carer, the abuse was still happening, although verbal now, not physical. Her mother had kept the door on love closed to her children, and as adults they were still living with the hurt of not being shown love when they were young, and still unable to feel love from her now.
In our state where there is no Covid lockdown in place for now, there is still lockdown and locked out happening in families whenever we keep our love locked up.
We listened to her without having solutions, or sympathy, just standing together as equals, knowing we have all suffered in some way at some time in our life. At the end of our conversation she exclaimed “I can’t believe I have unloaded all this on perfect strangers!” We ended on a lighter note, and she walked away much lighter than she had been coming towards us.
The third encounter was with another lovely woman who came to interview me for support I required inside the home and in the garden. We began talking about the current situation we are finding ourselves in with the restrictions and rules currently being imposed. She shared about her family members who were in lockdown in the city, and how it was impacting the mental health of her son. She was very concerned and shared how when one member of a family, or a friend, is struggling, it can affect those around them. She was very appreciative that she felt she could speak openly with me, as many older people were very fixed in their opinions and closed to conversations that might be challenging their views.
In each of these encounters and conversations, a beautiful connection was made, founded on openness, understanding and love.
In this time of restrictions – locked down, locked up, locked in or locked out – we can keep our hearts open, and make connections that have no borders or boundaries.
Many people are finding life very challenging now, and sometimes it lightens the load to talk to a stranger. It is then we realise that we are not strangers, we are all one humanity.
At heart we all want love and connection, and it can happen in an instant between perfect strangers who are not strangers at all, but equally beautiful sensitive caring souls.
Bernadette C., Australia
If you enjoyed this article for further reading you may also like:
Wisdom Unites Us All – The Joy of Friendships Across Ages