Grandmothers - how do we feel about them?
As a child I adored my country grandmother and I wanted to be like her when I grew older. She was never rushed, everything was done with grace and care, whether it was sitting in front of her dressing table to brush her hair and apply her rouge, picking fruit or vegetables from the garden, mixing cakes at the kitchen table, it was a pleasure to be with her and to watch her every move. She often expressed her appreciation for my parents, for nature, and for me. I now appreciate her legacy more than ever, as I am now a grandmother myself, and I am aware that how I am as a grandmother is very different to how I was as a mother.
When love is the foundation everything flows, the day is light, and I know my grandson can feel this too.
I didn't know this love as a young woman, love was something elusive to be sought from others. I didn't know how to love myself. I didn't experience love as who I am, my true nature. When this is felt there is no need from outside.
My body is more fragile now, and it calls me to be more delicate and caring with myself. If I don't heed its messages there are consequences. With these qualities of delicateness, and stillness, there is a strength that is not physical, but energetic. If I had known how to develop these qualities as a young woman my parenting would have been a totally different ball game, as would have my relationships, my health, and my life. Life is always offering new opportunities.
It is never too late to learn, and so as a grandmother I am given a new opportunity, not to parent, but to enjoy loving and caring for a child without the impediments I experienced as a mother.
I feel blessed to be given this opportunity by my son and daughter-in-law, to share in the life of an adorable child, to watch him grow and explore, to feel his love, his openness and joy and playfulness. The eyes of a baby and their smiles and sounds are precious.
Now I know that the love and joy that I feel when I am with my grandson is there inside me all the time, not just when I am with him, and that love is a gift from heaven that we are all given.
The message I get from my grandson is to cherish each moment. That when I am not being nana I have choices with every breath.
Bernadette C., NSW Australia