I have often avoided the thought of dying. There are so many beliefs of how one should approach the subject. I had always seen death and dying to be full of doom, gloom and drama, which is perhaps why I had previously avoided being around anybody who was close to dying. The experience I had recently with my dear friend, who was terminally ill and dying, was quite revolutionary for me.
It was beautiful to be in the presence of this woman, who was very ill, but who was not fighting it, who was not holding onto life or in denial of what was happening to her body.
Up until her last breath she was supported and had full awareness of what was going on around her. She was able to stay at home and she never lost her dignity or ability to choose what was right for her. When she passed over she was not alone and had the company and support of friends. For her, there was no fear of death or dying and no giving up either – it was just an acceptance and surrender to the process and the cycle of life and death.
She prepared for her death, knew what she wanted and planned for it. She requested that her body be cremated and that the ashes would be thrown in the bin.
She did not want a funeral or a scattering of the ashes for she knew that once she had died her physical body was naught and she did not want any emotional outpourings or attachments holding her spirit back from moving on.
I learnt a lot from this as I only knew what others have done and it was great to see someone who was not afraid to do things in a different way. It made sense to me too, why would you want others to dwell over you or get caught up in emotional drama that serves no one.
As a group of friends who shared this experience – both before and after her death – we discussed death and dying and why this subject is often not spoken about. It’s as if we are afraid to upset another or offend.
We talked about coffins, we discussed the cultural beliefs and how we had not really known another way. I don’t think there really is a right or wrong way, but I do think that possibly we have never really stopped to consider what feels true for us, rather than what is socially accepted.
The other thing that just made me smile and even look forward to my dying day, was that she chose to pass away at home. Her home was calm and she stayed in her own bed up until about three weeks before passing over, so she was able to feel comfortable in her surroundings. The view from her bedroom was beautiful and meant that while she could sit up; she could enjoy the birds and nature outside her window.
It was beautiful to feel the way we all worked together in supporting this process for our friend who was approaching death and dying.
I can only imagine how beautiful it must have felt for her to be supported by friends in this phase of life.
For her it was a time of heightened awareness and openness and a deep surrendering to what was happening, with deep clarity and a depth of true connection. Just thinking about this amount of support and love makes me realise that we could be offering this to so many others who are passing over; but we often don’t, because so far it’s not the norm.
I have been inspired by the many presentations from Serge Benhayon that have increased my awareness on the subject of death and dying and my experience with supporting my friend through this process in her last year of life.
I have been inspired to share my experience so that it too may inspire others to start to offer another way of support for their friends and family when they are terminally ill to deeply appreciate and honour this special time and opportunity to connect at a deeper level with each other.
By Rosie B., Australia