True Care and Self Care

TRUE CARE

30/10/2019

True care is love in activity and comes into every interaction we have with ourselves and with another. When we truly care for ourselves with regard to our physical and psychological well-being, our body is able to respond with more vitality and harmony. We are then able to share these qualities with others in our care, be they children, someone experiencing an illness, or a loved one at the end of life.

To truly care, we need to love and nurture ourselves and express the love that we have for ourselves and everyone else. When we hold a quality of love within us first the quality of care we give is equal to that love.

We hold people in love in the way we talk to them and the way we move, the way we plump the pillow, or get a glass of water. Love is conveyed in the way we touch a person we may be caring for as we wash, dry and assist them with dressing. It is this care that moves us to be non-imposing and respectful of where another is at and what their needs may be.

Most of us would have a routine for self-care whether we are aware of it or not and we would all have been in the situation at some point in our lives when we have had to care for another. No matter the level of our self-care, most would agree that it is an area that we could all give more attention to.

Let's start the conversation and inspire each other to not only self-care but to truly care.
We invite you to click on 'Comments' below and share your experience of true care.

9 Comments

Anne McRitchie link

30/10/2019 04:48:50 am

How often have we had someone say to us that they care for us or love us yet their movements do not confirm that? In fact, their movements can show the complete opposite for example when they are in a hurry to move onto something else, are rough with us or they get easily frustrated. There can be no True Care if another's dignity is not respected as a starting point and if there is not a basic level of decency and respect. With those qualities as a foundation, True Care is then expressed in every little movement - it is not about words but the level of love that is in every action shown to another. As shared in one of the articles, True Care is True Love in activity. I recall once being in hospital after falling down 14 stairs and fracturing various parts of my body as well as tearing skin off my face. A friend who visited every day offered to rub a special cream into my face each evening before she left. The delicacy and gentleness in which she did this, the love and care which emanated from her body as she approached me were palpable and most likely were more healing for me than the cream. As a result of her True Care I now have no visible scars on my face.

Lynne Paull-McLeod

30/10/2019 10:21:42 am

I love what you have offered about truly caring for someone Anne. As read about your own experience I could feel in my own body the difference between being touched tenderly as opposed to someone touching me when they feel rushed or obligated. To be touched tenderly allows me to deeply relax which would aid healing. When touched in that non-caring way creates a tension in my body.

Bernadette Curtin link

30/10/2019 10:56:38 am

I have recently had the opportunity to be with my sister when she has visited my father in a dementia care facility. Her patience, love and connection to him were very real and lovely to feel. As you have expressed Anne, it is the level of love that is in every action, not necessarily the words spoken, although they can also be very loving. I have noticed that as I focus more on the details of my own self-care, I am more loving and appreciative and caring of others. True care feels like a deeper level of care with love as a foundation, that we offer ourselves or another.

Sandra Newland

31/10/2019 07:37:03 am

I have had the pleasure recently of looking after a newborn baby and feeling how deeply sensitive this little being is. Everything is registered in this small body and it is a reminder to me how anything less than a delicate touch can actually feel like abuse. Delicate is not soft, in fact it can be quite firm in the sense of conveying an authority and assuredness which allows the body to feel deeply held. Holding this baby reminds me of my innate sensitivity and I register more clearly any tension in my body such as a knot in my stomach or a tension in my arm. This reminds me of how we all affect one another by the way we are. Even though this may not be consciously clocked, it is registered by another body and so we have a huge responsibility to bring true care to whatever we say or do.

Deidre Medbury

31/10/2019 07:46:13 am

I agree Bernadette, true care begins with the self for we cannot honour and deeply care for another if we don't begin with honouring ourself first. It is not about the doing but more about the tender quality in which we can care for each other.

Ingrid Langenbruch link

31/10/2019 09:03:07 am

True care is also being aware and to sense what is needed. We often have our own ideas or beliefs and wants aboout caring, if for ourselves or someone else, and we need to be open and adjust our care to what is needed at the moment.

Lynne Paull-McLeod

31/10/2019 11:52:41 am

This conversation has reminded me of a moment in my own bathroom a few months ago where I was going through my daily ritual of washing and moisturising my face. I had recently become aware that I needed to deepen my connection with myself and my own self-care and was using a much more gentle and caring way of touching my face and neck. At one point in the process I realised that my husband had noticed the deep care and love that I was offering myself and was watching me (in appreciation as it turned out). I felt really self-conscious and embarrassed, then immediately dropping back into my old way of 'getting on with the job' in the more hurried manner I'd been used to. This exposed how uncomfortable I have been to have someone see me deeply caring for myself. Where do these thoughts come from? Why is true care so foreign to us?

Mary Holmes

2/11/2019 06:38:48 am

The words self care is so simple to say yet that actual livingness of these words is very different. Slowly I am coming to appreciate how self care is so important on a daily basis, starting with getting out of bed in the morning and getting ready for the day ahead. It is like I can at this point set up my day in self care, and as you say Lynne "not just getting on with the job".

Christina

3/11/2019 03:47:19 am

I’ve recently been travelling around Australia extensively, a long way from my home in the UK. I am in my seventieth year, and not a very experienced traveller, it something I felt called to do. I had a lot of help with planning and support in lots of ways from many people. This is not my usual style of organising, I have always been independent. This trip for me was a giant project, and in the interests of self-care I accepted my feelings of unsure-ness and vulnerability, and this allowed me to cheerfully accept and the help that was offered. Planning done, I set off. The whole thing was too big for my mind and body to makes sense of, so I took each day as it came and the whole trip has joyously flowed! I’ve had boundless energy, not needed as much sleep, no jet lag. I put this down to keeping present with myself, not worrying or speculating what might happen, just adjusting to what arises. This is a new way of travelling for me, who used to panic if I wasn’t an hour early for a planned journey. Being in the present is simple and great self care.

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All written content copyright © 2016 Anne McRitchie, Rowena Parkes and all Authors as mentioned.
Photos copyright © by the photographers: Alan Johnston, Clayton Lloyd, Dean Whitling, Desiree Delaloye, Iris Pohl, Steffi Henn, Steve Leca ,
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