Self-worth and DamNing Messages

29/11/2018

Negative and harmful comments, even given in jest, can, and do, have an effect on our self-worth and self-esteem, especially when body issues are the focus of the comments.
These harming comments can remain deep within and cause us much heartache for years until we learn to discard them and claim that our true beauty lies in claiming who we are – claiming the real beauty of our inner essence.

Image has become more and more important not only for women but for men as well. We are often judged by how we look, and we judge ourselves by comparing ourselves with others, and in doing so, many negative and harmful comments can be made, even in jest, that we can have deep reactions to.

Our self-worth should not be influenced by any comment made from others, or even from ourselves, judging us from the outside.

Our new topic of conversation is Self-worth and Damning Messages.

If you have had to live with negative comments from a period earlier in your life that have come back to play on your mind and within your body, this topic provides an opportunity to share your experience. Through expression we have the chance to let go of these hurts and claim that our true beauty lies within our essence.

Please join our conversation topic for this month and share any experience where you have allowed yourself to be effected by negative comments from others.

5 Comments

Anne McRitchie

30/11/2018 08:21:34 pm

Growing up I cannot say that I had many negative messages directed my way, but there was one very strong message that was constantly reinforced in me. Even though I was a girl, I was constantly fed messages that I was a 'boy'. Miniature cars were amongst my first toys and I was taught how to reverse park with them. I played with boys during the school break and was the 'leader of the pack' in all our games. Later in life I worked in a corporate environment that was dominated by men. Women were the secretaries and typists with only a handful in professional roles. On being made a manager I received company letters addressed to 'Dear Gentlemen', the phone message pads were prep-printed with"MR' as women were not expected to make or receive a phone call. . . and so on. It is no wonder that when going to a wash room in my late twenties, I walked into the one that said 'I am a Boy'! Finally later in life when I realised how deep I had buried my femaleness, I started to slowly excavate the layers until I released the tender, caring and feminine woman within.

Webcast Co Creative

1/12/2018 11:32:47 am

I love this topic of conversation. These comments are worse than a punch because they seem like affection but why can't' we just say what we mean instead of packaging it up in a parcel of put down? Is it because we are afraid of being tender or because we are repeating what is familiar from our own childhoods but still, deep down, uncomfortable and diminishing?

Self worth is often chipped away and eroded by these compounding (pounding they are) comments from people that 'love' us?

We are so rightfully proud of eradicating polio and smallpox but this 'disease' of put-downs packaged as affection is let flourish and to pull it up is to be called 'so serious' or 'precious' or lacking a sense of humour, so we just put up with it until there is a shift and self worth begins to be nourished and tended to and suddenly these comments are no longer brushed off but investigated and seen for the toxic and seemingly innocuous yet totally harmful barbs they really are.There is so much more to how we can communicate with each other and how what is said can flower and flourish instead of fester inside our bodies, our lives and our relationships.

Bernadette Curtin link

2/12/2018 08:30:43 am

The self worth and damning messages that I heard and felt as a child were from the catholic religion. Women did not have a place in the hierarchical structure of this religion, and the role models offered for women in the teachings were virgins, prostitutes or martyrs. As a young girl this was very unsettling and confusing. The imposition of confession reinforced that we were all essentially sinners.

Mary Holmes

4/12/2018 03:32:44 am

As a young child aged around 3 I was sent to my Aunt's place as Mum was going into hospital to have my younger brother, and the rest of my brothers and sister was going to school and dad was working. At that time there was no day care for an event like this in a family. What evolved is that I began to fret and miss the family and eventually had to be brought home, all because things were not fully explained to me or how long I would be at my aunts. The damning message I received at the time was, you are such trouble something that has stayed with me most of my life until eventually it was healed. I realize from this event how important it is to explain fully to children exactly what and why this is happening as I realized as a little one I was wise enough then to understand .

Loretta (Rappos)

3/3/2019 04:40:26 pm

I remember a time when I was still in primary school and it was just before Easter. I didn't get to go to confession before Easter Sunday.
I took on from the Catholic church that it was essential to attend confession especially before sacred occasions like Easter or Christmas. You were born a sinner and must be cleansed to receive communion -the host, at Sunday mass.
So...the day before I prayed in my bedroom for 1 hour to receive God's forgiveness for my sins.
There was also another situation where I was in the confessional box with the priest in the other adjoining cubicle, where I was asked to state my sins.
I said that I lied and disobeyed my parents...I used to feel so guilty.
Growing up I was a "good catholic girl" and often made up sins to satisfy the priest.
Today I recognise how the Catholic church suppressed the joy and innocence I had as a young child, with fear and foreboding.

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All written content copyright © 2016 Anne McRitchie, Rowena Parkes and all Authors as mentioned.
Photos copyright © by the photographers: Alan Johnston, Clayton Lloyd, Dean Whitling, Desiree Delaloye, Iris Pohl, Steffi Henn, Steve Leca ,
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Self-worth and DamNing Messages

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