Finding Myself Within

1/6/2020

In past eras it was thought that to ‘find oneself’ we had to go on arduous journeys like climbing to the highest mountain peak or trekking through the Himalayas and sitting in a cave for years or becoming a monk and meditating for hours each day. However, that may not be everybody’s way!

For some it may involve being in nature or making time to do something you’ve always loved but felt you couldn’t or shouldn’t prioritise. Rosemary has written an article ‘Looking Everywhere to Find Myself’ in which she shares that she chose to write a book about her search for the real meaning of Life.

Could it be that to ‘find oneself’ it may be as simple as listening to our own body and allowing the impulses within to guide us with everything we do in life, from the most difficult situations to the mundane everyday tasks such as how to breathe, what food is most nourishing for our own body, when and how to exercise and when to rest. Is it possible that by not allowing the mind to override our bodily wisdom we then have more clarity and a deeper sense of who we are?

There is, of course, a myriad of paths one can take to truly find the Inner Self.

In the May Conversation, Gayle commented, “…..I've tried many, many, MANY ways of finding myself. Most of the time, it didn't work. And the times that I thought something worked, it didn't really last! I am finally on the right track because every day I feel like I am living more of my True Self. I'm quite dedicated to a journey of evolving and expanding my consciousness in order to find my true self.”

We look forward to you posting what finding yourself means to you – was it a life-time search or was it something you delved into in your elder years?

Let’s continue this very meaningful and relevant topic that will bring many new insights into our current topic of ‘Finding Myself Within’.

21 Comments

Gayle

4/5/2020 01:07:27 pm

Well, at 69 years of age, I've tried many, many MANY ways of finding myself. Most of the time, it didn't work. And the times that I thought something worked, it didn't really last! I am finally on the right track because everyday I feel like I am living more of my True Self. I'm quite dedicated to a journey of evolving and expanding my consciousness in order to find my true self. I feel that is one of the keys - we have to want to find the truth of who we are underneath all the ideals, beliefs and programs that have been ingrained in us by our parents, society and culture. With a commitment to finding our True Self, it is then possible for the universe to offer us all kinds of support. That support might come through blessings or traumatic events. How we process those blessings and events allows us to see more of who we truly are. I have many specific examples of events that revealed to me who I truly am. Too many for this comment section. It does make me think about writing a book though!

Ingrid Langenbruch

5/5/2020 09:45:59 am

The search for myself - and for happiness - was for me a lifelong endeavour. Yet only in my elder years am I finding myself by deeply connecting with myself within. Now I live consistantly a life of joy and am being more and more myself. What other people are saying or thinking about me is not of much concern anymore.
I am not saying that one needs to get older to find oneself. I sometimes wish I would have learned about myself what I’ve learned over the last decade or 2 and looked within for myself instead of outside of me. My life could have been already this fulfilling and purposeful.

Lynne Paull-McLeod

5/5/2020 10:19:21 am

I love what you have both shared Gayle and Ingrid. I too have searched for myself in many different ways and gone down a number of paths over the past 30 years, where at the time, I thought I was on track. First it was via the church and trying to find ‘me’ in the rituals and scriptures of the religion. Then it was the New Age for a number of years. Right through this period I was also seeing a series of psychotherapists to delve into every nook and cranny of my personality to root out the 'bad' and hopefully find the 'good'. But I was still at a bit of a loss and feeling somehow disconnected from myself. I always felt I was living outside of myself somehow but couldn't grasp what that meant. Until I learned that my connection to my true self was found within, and not by looking outside of myself, the joy that I now live each day kept eluding me.

Jill Steiner

8/5/2020 09:10:44 pm

I would say that from a young child I have always been looking for God. The church was where I looked for a large part of my life. During that time there was a sense of always looking but never finding, studying the scriptures searching for truth, always a sense of feeling ‘now I have found God, now I have lost him’. The times when I felt closer to God was when I was in nature and felt the beautiful stillness in nature and within myself, but this didn't last for when I left nature I left myself, for throughout my life I had looked outside myself. I had been told from young I was a sinner so there was nothing 'good' to look for inside of me. Gradually over the years I left religion and dabbled in the New Age which to me at the time felt much freer and fun, but no matter how many courses I tried they always left me feeling empty, so I left them. In my 60’s I finally came to learn about the truth of my being, that I am a Son of God, dearly beloved by God, who is love and love only and that love was inside of me, I had come home, connected to my innermost where God dwells. This has changed my life so much from being boxed in with the ‘trying to be good’ way of existing. When I connect within it allows my true loving self to emerge and be lived with love and joy, a feeling I had never lived before. It is never too late to find our true selves, it is always within, and just a breath away.

Gayle

13/5/2020 06:47:52 am

It is very hard to put into words what 'finding myself within' means, even for those who feel they have found themselves. It is also hard to describe the journey to someone else, who may still be 'looking'.

I feel a major milestone on the path is the one you pass in which you lay down the constant self-criticism. Always wishing you hadn't said that, hadn't done that, hadn't thought that! Instead seeing the error in your ways and confirming that it will be different moving forward, and ensuring that it is. Constant self-doubt and self-flagellation are inherent in most all of humanity, even those of us who had relatively abusive-free childhoods. Is it possible that the low opinion of ourselves goes back millennium to the time when we separated from our Divine Creator? Possible, I suppose, because it does seem to be evident, as I said, in almost everyone. But the good news is that it is possible to stop that program, learn to love ourselves, re-parent ourselves if necessary. From that place of unconditional love, it is possible to find our true selves.

Rosemary Liebe

13/5/2020 06:45:00 pm

I agree Gayle that it is difficult to express what "finding myself within" means or how it feels and again I agree that laying down the constant self criticism is a major milestone, another one for me was letting go of blame and resentment and taking responsibility for the choices I had previously made and the part I had played in situations that created hurt both for myself and others. Being able to let go of blame and resentment certainly freed up a lot of space within myself so that I was more able to feel and connect with a lightness within, for me this was the beginning of "finding myself within" and returning to the deep love and joy that I am.

Lynne Paull-McLeod

18/5/2020 12:17:29 pm

Ah, so true! I was so lacking in self-worth that I failed to see how the blame, resentment and judgement, was consuming me. As you say Rosemary, taking responsibility for my hurts and recognising how I'd played a part in them was crucial to me finding myself. Realising that I didn't need to be in that heaviness and that I could in fact feel joyful for much of the day was for me a moment in time where I began to consider that perhaps I wasn't that judgemental person and that my reactions to hurts were 'covering over' the real and lovely me.

Bernadette Curtin

18/5/2020 03:46:54 pm

Finding myself within? I liked your milestones Gayle, and Rosemary, as finding myself within has been more of a process of letting go what does not feel loving, nurturing, true.
This means observing thoughts and behaviours without any self-judgement, and discerning what doesn’t feel harmonious in my body.
Making a conscious choice to connect to my body, look after it, and listen to it has helped me to be more present and appreciative of what each day offers. I now know that sensitivity is a strength, that I love order and flow in my day, that I am part of a magnificent universal order, that how I live determines the purpose and quality of each and every day. So now I feel that I am in my life, in my body and living with purpose. The inner life is so rich and amazing to bring to everyday life.

Gayle

22/5/2020 01:59:42 pm

Yes, definitely Bernadette. Finding my true self involved a LOT of LETTING GO of what was not really me. Ideals and beliefs that I inherited from my family lineage (and from my countries obsession with nationalism) was a big dollop of what I had to see through - and let go of.

Annie Mack

17/5/2020 11:49:04 am

I remember at the age of 40 going through an extremely traumatic ending of a relationship. It was suggested at the time that I see a therapist who might be able to assist me. I will always remember that first session as it was a complete revelation to me. The therapist very kindly asked me at the end of the session "So what are you doing for yourself through all of this?" I was absolutely stunned. Up until then I really believed that I was only ever somebody's daughter, somebody's sister, somebody's wife, lover, friend, work colleague and somebody's mother. I had never even considered who I was. Sadly I was not able to say anything to the therapist about what I was doing for myself as I had only ever been a doer for other people.

It took many years after that to fully take on board that I was indeed someone worthwhile and that was when the process began of slowly finding out who I was. It has taken many years of exploring and going down many paths that looked alluring at the time, but indeed were not supportive long term.

Only of the last few years can I honestly say that I am finding myself, it was not an overnight revelation to me but every day if I am open then a little more shines through and I have to say I love every moment of it I daresay I will continue to find myself until the day I leave this life and this suits me just fine.

Ruth Anderssen

18/6/2020 04:04:22 pm

As a child I felt very comfortable in knowing and loving my true 'me' -- the essence that belonged to me and to God. I grew up in a country village and spent many, many hours by myself exploring the other side of the river -- literally -- as I had to row a boat to get to the other side. It was only after I got married and had our two beautiful daughters that I lost this knowing and loving of my true self - like you Annie, I became someone's wife, mother and then as I started my teaching career I became someone else's teacher and left me hidden under the layers. I know it was just hidden, as now that I have spent the last ten years peeling off those 'onion layers' I am re-finding that Inner Essence, the one I had as a child which believed in me and loved me for being ME. This has brought the realisation that we play so many roles in our lives, and in playing them they become what you think is you -- once I realised that these roles were just that, roles, I was able to peel off the layers to once again shine the true beauty, grace and truth of the Me that was within -- the one that was there all the time.

Gayle

22/5/2020 02:03:30 pm

Thanks for sharing your journey Annie. I too have had the experience that something traumatic (and considered unpleasant) is what is needed in order for us to expand and evolve. Certainly a break up of a long-term relationship at the age of 40 is unsettling and could easily feel like a disaster at the time. But then, later, in hindsight ,we can feel how it was the seed for the next spurt of growth.

Anne Hart

2/6/2020 09:00:08 am

Self-criticism destroys our ability to find ourselves from within because it drives us to do the very opposite - seek the wisdom from outside ourselves, giving power to 'experts' who espouse a magic formula. This has been my biggest lesson and although I've made big changes I'm learning that negative self-talk or thoughts can be subtle ... they are so, so familiar they hardly register. That's when loving feedback from others is invaluable and expands our self-awareness.

Lynne Paull-McLeod

2/6/2020 09:25:35 am

Anne I so get what you are sharing here. I was lost in self-criticism, so much so that I thought it was who I was. Until I started to go within and feel that there was another part of me that was in fact telling me that this critique wasn't true, I'd lived my life believing that it was. As you have shared, this way of thinking was so familiar that I didn't question it because if felt so 'normal'. I too have come a long way in terms of being self-loving and not entertaining the self-criticism, however those subtle and familiar thoughts can still get me. Now, if I'm not feeling joyful I can pretty much look at where I'm being hard on myself and there will be an ever so subtle thought that has got in to drop my joyfulness.

Francesca Leaton

22/6/2020 10:43:34 am

For as long as I can remember I have always wanted to feel that deep sense of contentment and peace within which is what I intuitively knew and felt was God. My journey began in my teenage years where I spent a decade indulging in the mind altering states of drugs to all sorts of courses presented in the New Age teachings to Mythology, studying with a Guru, Christianity and Buddhism. In fact my entire life was devoted to ‘looking for ‘God’. I make no apology; I was a seeker of God.

Well it’s no surprise to tell you that by the end of my 50s I was exhausted in my journey of ‘seeking God’ and had no better idea of what or who God really was until I reached my late 50s. All I knew was that I was simply exhausted and no closer to finding God than when I was a young teenager. Well how hard could it be? I asked myself; if it was as close as being ‘within’ then it must be pretty close because according to the Bible the ‘Kingdom of God is Within’ But then if it was that close how had I missed it all these years and how hard does it have to be to get there?

The process, for me, occurred over time and involved debunking all my previously held ideas, thoughts, beliefs and pictures of ‘God’ and ‘within’. This process was initiated when I came across the teachings of the Ageless Wisdom. With the support of Ageless Wisdom teachings I have been able to simply connect deeply with the space within me through my breath. This space is within everyone - it’s so simple and yet it has taken me all my life to understand that it is as close as my breath.

It is here that I have found that deep, deep, sense of contentment and peace. When I connect with this space I experience ‘the peace that passes all understanding’ – which is what I now know to be God, and to think it was as simple as connecting with my breath and the space that is within me and everyone equally.

Gayle

24/6/2020 03:03:51 pm

Reading your comment Francesca caused me to reflect on how our generation had so many distractions - so many external tugs for us to look this way, to try this - no wonder it took us so long to get back to looking 'within'. Thank 'heavens' the Ageless Wisdom has been consistently there to point us in the right direction, no matter how many 'high' and 'low' roads we have travelled prior to turning within.

Bernadette Curtin link

25/6/2020 07:43:27 pm

Oh thank you for bringing attention to the way we breathe Francesca, it has been life-changing for me also, to learn how to breathe, it is so healing, so simple, and it brings me into my body so gently - truly exquisite to feel our self in this way.

Lynne Paull-McLeod

26/6/2020 07:32:43 am

It's so true about the breath Bernadette and Francesca. When I was younger I was anxious and uncertain in the world and would often get a sense that I was somehow living 'outside of myself' and didn't realise that all I needed to do was to breathe my own breath, in my own rhythm, to bring me 'into myself' where I access that exquisite stillness. When I breathe my own breath I feel deeply settled and so safe and loved, by no-one in particular but myself and God.

Gill Randall

4/8/2020 12:22:35 pm

I really love what’s written here about connecting to our breath to find ourselves inside. There is so much searching into outside that goes on with many self-help techniques and having tried many of them, I failed to feel any different on the inside. But simply connecting to our breath in and out stops the head chatter and brings us back to knowing ourselves from the inside, and then that emanates out.

Gayle

4/8/2020 12:56:44 pm

This page contains some 'breath-taking' inspiration for getting to know ourselves from the inside out.

Rosemary Liebe

24/8/2020 06:41:37 pm

So simple really Gill, as you say connecting to the breath, in and out gently, stops that monkey mind or chatter that goes on in our heads. This then allows us to settle into our bodies where we can then explore our connection to self ....which is to be found within.

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