 | A couple of weeks ago I noticed pain around the inner part of my eyebrows and at the outer edge of my eyes and cheek bones. It was a clearing, but what was it? Was it eyestrain, sinus, or something else? “What is this illness?” I asked myself. |
Next, I noticed I had tinnitus followed by intense pain in my inner ear and mandibular joint. “Oh,” I said, “I’ve got an inner ear infection.” But there was no loss of balance or any of the things that go with an inner ear infection. I noticed my gums were sore far up into the back of my jaw. It was around the time of the full moon when I often get mouth ulcers and I surmised this was what it was, a flare-up of the chronic inflammatory bowel disease that I have.
Tinnitus energetically relates to the vascular system, and the mouth, as part of the digestive system, relates to non-acceptance and the poisons we have swallowed. What was this flare-up telling me?
The symptoms progressed and I woke up one morning with an elevated temperature and swollen glands. The whole of my face was puffy. After a few attempts at consulting Dr. Google, I concluded that my salivary glands were swollen. The swelling was under my chin as well as along my jaw line, and my eyes were puffy. Along with the puffiness and elevated body warmth, I was feeling listless and tired. I slept on and off all day.
Intense headaches ensued and the only time I got relief was when I slept. My neck was stiff, and I could hardly turn my head to look around. My jaw was stiff too, and I had trouble opening my mouth very wide.
I wasn’t eating very much and nothing tasted good. There was an unpleasant, acrid taste in my mouth.
This went on for six days and you might wonder why I didn’t see my doctor. I was waiting for it to pass believing every day that it would get better. I also couldn’t get an appointment as the medical clinic was closed because both the doctors had covid. At this point, self-doubt crept in and I took myself off for a covid test. It was negative, so at least that could be ruled out.
It’s now eight days, and although I can feel a small improvement this morning, I am still very warm, headachy, and listless. I really haven’t got the impulse or energy to do anything very much (although I felt to sit down and write).
What is this clearing all about?
If it’s principally my jaw, and I feel it could well be, then I have been in the compression of ‘trying’ the whole of my life, at least from the time I started school – seventy years ago. You’ll agree that’s a lot of years! Trying to get things right. Trying to be good. All and everything to do with good and betterment.
Under this compression, the heart is unable to open and be loving and the gut is unable to digest what life throws at us without reacting. All the untruths I have swallowed; all the betterment I have engaged in; all the good I have pursued while hating the compression it put me in (life looked much more exciting outside the ‘good’ cage even though I know it is part of the same, just a different side of the coin); all the false responsibilities I have taken on as a ‘good girl’, good school student, good worker, friend, parent, etc. which not only compressed me but all those around me. Every aspect of my life has been tainted by these false beliefs and pursuits.
Is it surprising that at some point the body would want to spit out all this poison?
Nowhere was I connecting to truth.
I needed to go deeper. What is my body communicating to me? Is it releasing long held patterns of tension from trying to be good and do better and from making sure that all those around me also understand the importance of being ‘good’ and ‘better’(!)?
Is my body releasing the tension held in the jaw and around the eyes, of being in this constant state of vigilance?
I have never had a yearning to be ‘the best’ but I have been driven all my life by being good and better. It has put a lot of strain on me and other people too. I have been called ‘romantic’, ‘idealistic’ and ‘unrealistic’. I was offended by those labels and resisted and resented what seemed to be the only other option, which was to accept the mundaneness, corruption and lies of life as we know it.
Awakening to the false ideal of good and betterment has been truly amazing. The ideal we have been given of ‘good’ is insidious. It contracts the body and most seriously, it contracts the heart.
There is no love in betterment, in wanting the world to be a better place, for me to be 'good' or for people to be ‘better’. It is pure illusion.
There can be no expansion when the body is driven by a mind that is seeking improvement, good and betterment, and there can be no love in a heart that colludes with this false belief.
‘Most seek good instead of being Love. Be Love and goodness will seek you.’
~ Serge Benhayon, Esoteric Teachings & Revelations, Book 7, p. 653, Unimed Publishing, Goonellabah, Australia.
Judy F., Australia
If you enjoyed this article, you may also like to read:
What Makes Us Want to Try?
Tinnitus energetically relates to the vascular system, and the mouth, as part of the digestive system, relates to non-acceptance and the poisons we have swallowed. What was this flare-up telling me?
The symptoms progressed and I woke up one morning with an elevated temperature and swollen glands. The whole of my face was puffy. After a few attempts at consulting Dr. Google, I concluded that my salivary glands were swollen. The swelling was under my chin as well as along my jaw line, and my eyes were puffy. Along with the puffiness and elevated body warmth, I was feeling listless and tired. I slept on and off all day.
Intense headaches ensued and the only time I got relief was when I slept. My neck was stiff, and I could hardly turn my head to look around. My jaw was stiff too, and I had trouble opening my mouth very wide.
I wasn’t eating very much and nothing tasted good. There was an unpleasant, acrid taste in my mouth.
This went on for six days and you might wonder why I didn’t see my doctor. I was waiting for it to pass believing every day that it would get better. I also couldn’t get an appointment as the medical clinic was closed because both the doctors had covid. At this point, self-doubt crept in and I took myself off for a covid test. It was negative, so at least that could be ruled out.
It’s now eight days, and although I can feel a small improvement this morning, I am still very warm, headachy, and listless. I really haven’t got the impulse or energy to do anything very much (although I felt to sit down and write).
What is this clearing all about?
If it’s principally my jaw, and I feel it could well be, then I have been in the compression of ‘trying’ the whole of my life, at least from the time I started school – seventy years ago. You’ll agree that’s a lot of years! Trying to get things right. Trying to be good. All and everything to do with good and betterment.
Under this compression, the heart is unable to open and be loving and the gut is unable to digest what life throws at us without reacting. All the untruths I have swallowed; all the betterment I have engaged in; all the good I have pursued while hating the compression it put me in (life looked much more exciting outside the ‘good’ cage even though I know it is part of the same, just a different side of the coin); all the false responsibilities I have taken on as a ‘good girl’, good school student, good worker, friend, parent, etc. which not only compressed me but all those around me. Every aspect of my life has been tainted by these false beliefs and pursuits.
Is it surprising that at some point the body would want to spit out all this poison?
Nowhere was I connecting to truth.
I needed to go deeper. What is my body communicating to me? Is it releasing long held patterns of tension from trying to be good and do better and from making sure that all those around me also understand the importance of being ‘good’ and ‘better’(!)?
Is my body releasing the tension held in the jaw and around the eyes, of being in this constant state of vigilance?
I have never had a yearning to be ‘the best’ but I have been driven all my life by being good and better. It has put a lot of strain on me and other people too. I have been called ‘romantic’, ‘idealistic’ and ‘unrealistic’. I was offended by those labels and resisted and resented what seemed to be the only other option, which was to accept the mundaneness, corruption and lies of life as we know it.
Awakening to the false ideal of good and betterment has been truly amazing. The ideal we have been given of ‘good’ is insidious. It contracts the body and most seriously, it contracts the heart.
There is no love in betterment, in wanting the world to be a better place, for me to be 'good' or for people to be ‘better’. It is pure illusion.
There can be no expansion when the body is driven by a mind that is seeking improvement, good and betterment, and there can be no love in a heart that colludes with this false belief.
‘Most seek good instead of being Love. Be Love and goodness will seek you.’
~ Serge Benhayon, Esoteric Teachings & Revelations, Book 7, p. 653, Unimed Publishing, Goonellabah, Australia.
Judy F., Australia
If you enjoyed this article, you may also like to read:
What Makes Us Want to Try?