Taking responsibility not only for my actions but also for my energetic being has greatly supported and contributed to my health. Energetic responsibility is universal and equally valid and important for every human being. This involves taking responsibility for how we are in the world, with ourselves, with other people, our attitude and intentions, not allowing emotions or any conditions, expectations, judgements etc to run and rule our life.
We have often heard or have told ourselves: ‘You have to be more responsible!’ or ‘You are so irresponsible.’ But is this true responsibility? For many, the word ‘responsibility’ can feel a bit heavy, like the saying ‘you are carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders.’
But what we are carrying is all the lies we have learnt which we tell ourselves, and have been told by others – all the shoulds and should nots, the ‘be like this’ or ‘be like that’, ‘don’t do’, ‘don’t tell’…
We tend to focus on the outside and avoid looking inside and feeling the truth within. Have we looked at the truth of those impositions, or looked at the choices we have made in life?
We all know responsibility and might tend to shy away from it or duck down when we hear the word. Some of us are more responsible, some less. We accept more responsibility in some areas of our life and less in others.
Taking on responsibilities can play out in many different ways, especially in family dynamics. The oldest child in a family is often made to feel responsible for the younger ones and they can often resent this for the rest of their lives. We get a dog and are expected to be responsible for its wellbeing, or mothers are often super responsible for their child, forgetting that they have also a responsibility towards themselves.
As women, regardless of whether we are single or with a partner, we tend to be masters of taking on responsibility for pretty much everything in our lives, except ourselves! What about our health, our physical, emotional and energetic wellbeing? Everybody and everything is looked after first and we usually end up at the very bottom of the ‘to do’ list, if we get on it at all, and often there is no more time or energy left for taking care of ourselves.
And this is something that I felt I needed to look at when I was diagnosed with breast cancer many years ago. I supported everybody else, had a list of things every day to tick off, but I never put myself on those lists and mostly just forgot about me and what my body and being (inner self) needed.
I learned a lot in the first years of the diagnosis and came to the understanding that I needed to take much more responsibility for my life, for my physical body but mainly my energetic body and my emotions.
I still carried a big bag of old hurts, resentments, and judgements on my shoulders, so to speak. I needed to take responsibility for my choices in life, for the way I was living and being with myself, for example, how I was feeling about myself and treating myself and my body.
I started taking responsibility for my emotions and did a lot of healing of my old hurts. I made changes in all areas of my life and taking responsibility for my old choices helped heaps. That does not mean I felt guilty about them. Taking responsibility has nothing to do with guilt. If one feels guilty about something one has not taken responsibility, or one does not want to take responsibility for it.
I was often asked if I regretted not allowing any medical interventions during the first five years of breast cancer when I thought I could heal this on my own. I was wondering that myself for a while, however I did not feel guilty and instead took responsibility and accepted my old choices. That’s what I believed then in my arrogance and righteousness and I wouldn’t make many of those choices again knowing what I know now. Now it is time to make new choices and move on.
I took responsibility for some very old choices that I had felt guilty about for many years. For example, I hurt some people, especially one person, in my drug and alcohol years. For decades, I felt guilty about this, which did not contribute to my health. I took responsibility for it and connected with the person, shared and sincerely apologised and let it go – including the guilt.
For me responsibility has become a dear friend, a word I have come to value very much. Accepting responsibility has brought joy, purpose and lightness into my life.
Since then, my life has turned around completely. I want to take responsibility because it feels true. I can’t blame others anymore and neither do I blame myself.
Taking responsibility annihilates blame, judgements, and avoidance of consequences.
I have a greater responsibility in the way I live and in how I am with myself and other people than I would ever have considered possible.
We are all role models for everybody who is in our lives. What we reflect can be either an excuse for others to live in disregard or live with abuse, or our aliveness and joyfulness can be an inspiration.
It is important to take responsibility for the way I live and what and how I express and reflect because it has an effect on everybody else.
Ingrid L, Australia
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