 | After watching my grandparents and parents as they aged, I have had many pictures about growing old. I used to expect that I would become infirm or would be in pain as I got older. I had an incident of lower back pain and sciatica a few years ago and it was very challenging. And of course, there may be other episodes of illness and disease to come as my ageing body loses its strength or suppleness but I have realised I don’t need to have any fixed ideas. |
We simply don’t know how life will be in years to come – I’m 71 years old now, and at the moment, I have more energy than I had fifteen years ago. I am still active and feel relatively fit and well. I notice when looking after my grandchildren that I have definitely slowed down, but the picture of older age does not have to be one of infirmity and debilitation.
I have continued to work rather than stop at retirement age. I’ve always enjoyed working and can feel it has purpose. I didn’t want to have to conform to the norm and stop working. There’s many who look forward to their retirement so they can hang up their hat, put their feet up and chill out. I am often asked when I will retire, and I simply reply that irrespective of paid or unpaid work, the main reason I continue to work is to meet and talk to people.
When we behave away from the generally acceptable way, people can feel a bit unsettled. Could this be because they might have to question their own decisions? I used to meet up regularly with a group of people with similar values and we would socialise together. This would include evenings with supper and a few glasses of wine. A few years ago, I made the choice to stop drinking alcohol, and my friends were all quite surprised. We continued to meet, and I drank soft drinks, and after a while, some of the others also chose to drink less alcohol. I hadn’t realised the impact of changing my choice would highlight the opportunity for them to question their own choices too.
Why do we think we have to fit into any set way of doing things? Rules are set in school, how to write a letter the ‘correct’ way, or what is acceptable behaviour, and this becomes part of our lives that we sometimes feel we need to live in a certain way, to conform with everyone else, but we can all make our own decisions that feel true at any time, and of course we can change them any time we choose as well.
Some years ago, I wanted to go travelling in Vietnam. I had tried to encourage my husband by organising a motorbike trip off the beaten track. He still wasn’t interested but was very supportive with my decision to go alone if I so wished. I had a great time! Some friends expressed to me they thought I was brave, others suggested it was stupid or dangerous and it caused a little disturbance with some family members who didn’t agree with this choice. We normally had holidays together and this felt different from how they had assumed and expected we should behave. I followed this impulse and the opportunity it presented to expand and evolve. For me, again, it was about meeting and talking to different people.
We may unconsciously box each other into specific behaviours or categories, and it is interesting to challenge what ideas and beliefs we hold onto. I have found letting things go to be very liberating. We can make assumptions that we are all the same but in fact we are very unique in our journeys in this lifetime and past ones. What if there is no set pattern, and no rules to follow, and what if there is no mould to break?
Can it be that the mould is a self-made imposition we put on ourselves to not live our lives in full?
Gill R., UK
If you enjoyed this article for further reading you may also like:
Letting Go of Family Consciousness
I have continued to work rather than stop at retirement age. I’ve always enjoyed working and can feel it has purpose. I didn’t want to have to conform to the norm and stop working. There’s many who look forward to their retirement so they can hang up their hat, put their feet up and chill out. I am often asked when I will retire, and I simply reply that irrespective of paid or unpaid work, the main reason I continue to work is to meet and talk to people.
When we behave away from the generally acceptable way, people can feel a bit unsettled. Could this be because they might have to question their own decisions? I used to meet up regularly with a group of people with similar values and we would socialise together. This would include evenings with supper and a few glasses of wine. A few years ago, I made the choice to stop drinking alcohol, and my friends were all quite surprised. We continued to meet, and I drank soft drinks, and after a while, some of the others also chose to drink less alcohol. I hadn’t realised the impact of changing my choice would highlight the opportunity for them to question their own choices too.
Why do we think we have to fit into any set way of doing things? Rules are set in school, how to write a letter the ‘correct’ way, or what is acceptable behaviour, and this becomes part of our lives that we sometimes feel we need to live in a certain way, to conform with everyone else, but we can all make our own decisions that feel true at any time, and of course we can change them any time we choose as well.
Some years ago, I wanted to go travelling in Vietnam. I had tried to encourage my husband by organising a motorbike trip off the beaten track. He still wasn’t interested but was very supportive with my decision to go alone if I so wished. I had a great time! Some friends expressed to me they thought I was brave, others suggested it was stupid or dangerous and it caused a little disturbance with some family members who didn’t agree with this choice. We normally had holidays together and this felt different from how they had assumed and expected we should behave. I followed this impulse and the opportunity it presented to expand and evolve. For me, again, it was about meeting and talking to different people.
We may unconsciously box each other into specific behaviours or categories, and it is interesting to challenge what ideas and beliefs we hold onto. I have found letting things go to be very liberating. We can make assumptions that we are all the same but in fact we are very unique in our journeys in this lifetime and past ones. What if there is no set pattern, and no rules to follow, and what if there is no mould to break?
Can it be that the mould is a self-made imposition we put on ourselves to not live our lives in full?
Gill R., UK
If you enjoyed this article for further reading you may also like:
Letting Go of Family Consciousness