When I look back at photos of myself in my early fifties, I see a gorgeous woman but I know this is not how I remember my body. My recollection is of feeling insecure, that I was getting to the age of being ‘past it’. I could no longer pretend I was young anymore. My periods had finished and I thought I was going to shrivel and dry up in every sense. My skin was starting to become wrinkly, whereas up until then, I had been in the illusion that the wrinkles didn’t show or I could hide them with makeup.
I read articles in the news how people had lost their jobs and were taking the employers to court for ‘ageism’ issues, and felt indignant for them. Young newscasters were replacing the older ones and I recall that I felt I was going to be sidelined and dumped.
My children were leaving home so I poured my energies into work. I knew about the empty nest syndrome, and I wasn’t going to fall into that trap. It seemed to me that everyone now only listens to young people with new ideas and ways of working, and I was feeling ‘persona non-grata’.
I began questioning my own identity and decisions. When I went to buy clothes I started to question whether the style I had had for years still suited me, but where could I go to change my image? I was not ready for the tweed and pearls style, so I hid in long skirts and jumpers and as my chest sagged, my waist size grew. The less comfortable I felt in my skin, the more I ate for comfort, and the more my middle-age spread developed!
Looking back, I can see that I had no connection either to my body or to my elder energy. I had sold out to the illusion of middle age that is playing out in today’s society.
What I started to realise was that the choices I had been making up until then were based on the ideas sold to me. I had agreed to accept this illusion for the whole of my adult life. It’s true, the body changes in our fifties and it needs more support in many ways, but I was complicit to how society can treat older people, and by allowing that game my beliefs and behaviour had been reinforcing that illusion. I had already been allowing these thoughts for a couple of decades, through my thirties and forties.
I had been deluding myself that I was behaving and looking younger than my age but now these ways were not working anymore. I needed to develop an understanding as to why I had this image that I was feeling less because I was ageing.
Over a period of time, and with the guidance of Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine modalities, I gradually developed more love for myself and I gained an insight into how I had been living. I decided to make some very simple changes:
• I learnt to appreciate myself
• I developed a deeper connection with my body
• I stopped any negative thoughts and behaviours that did not support me
• I started to look after myself more by having early nights when I was tired
• I began taking more care with my diet
A very deep awareness developed and grew within me of who I am and my light and beauty from youth returned. I found my connection to my elder wisdom and it shines out from my eyes brighter than any wrinkles in the background.
I now feel that my connection with my body provides an anchor that will steady me in any storm and bring an answer to any question. As I go through my sixties, my consistency, my love and my acceptance for myself are deepening.
I am now recognising a new level of this responsibility, which can feel quite challenging at times. As the years pass by they bring a deeper meaning and I enjoy continually discovering something new about myself.
As I develop full acceptance of myself, I have a deeper understanding and acceptance of others.
I am now learning to appreciate the beauty that is within me and the old cliché that ‘beauty is much more than skin deep’ is true – it comes from the connection to our soul.
"When a woman goes into elder energy, she becomes even more deeply beautiful, a grace that is hard to not notice." Serge Benhayon
Gill R., UK