 | When we were younger, we often felt obliged to celebrate our birthdays because _______. Fill in the blank – because it was a tradition in our family, because my friends wanted me to, because I thought I should (even though I didn’t feel like going to all that work!) because my children called me a ‘party pooper’ if I didn’t. There was so much pressure, so many expectations, so much disappointment! |
The thought of celebrating something ordinary never even occurred to most of us. But now – in our elder years – we are past ‘trying’ to live up to other’s ‘expectations’. It has become so much more important to honour ourselves, to respect how we are feeling (both physically and emotionally), to honour what feels like the kind of celebration we want to have. And when the birthday rolls around, we check in with ourselves to see if we feel like a quiet celebration or perhaps this is the year that we feel we want to have that really big celebration!
Recently a friend of mine marked another decade with a big birthday celebration. Being not so long after the covid restrictions had eased, he and his girlfriend wanted to have a house full of friends. It was a fancy-dress party. The costumes were fun, beautifully creative and added a great deal of sparkle to a glorious evening of seeing people we hadn’t seen in a couple of years due to the lockdowns. The food was spectacular, there was live music and a dance floor packed with laughter and dancers were aged from 2 years to, hmmm, maybe 80 years.
Another friend of mine, recently turning 70, would have been quite content to have a family dinner, not even a need for a cake. But his family had a different idea – a surprise party! And they managed to pull it off. He didn’t have a clue until he arrived home that afternoon and wondered what the marquee set up in the garden was about. The family had decided the marquee was a soft landing on what would be 70 people shouting “Surprise!” when he walked into the house. Although my friend would have been fulfilled by a quiet family dinner, there was no doubting his joy at having the unexpected celebration in honour of his amazing self!
If we are ‘in the moment’, not fixed with any expectation of our birthday being quiet or extravagant, we go with the flow of what presents, and can enjoy either option equally.
And in last month’s Joy of Ageing Esoterically newsletter, we had the experience of reading about Jonathan, Kehinde and Elaine’s joint birthday celebration. So, clearly having big, glorious celebrations is something that we can do in our elder years and do very well. No problem at all!
Having spent my 69th birthday in Paris (a dream come true type of birthday), there was no way I could top that for my 70th, nor did I want to try. I just wanted a quiet dinner with a couple of friends. That was what was right for me the year I turned 70.
Is there a right or wrong way of how, or even if, we should celebrate that day on the calendar that we took our first breath (this lifetime)? Of course not. And are birthdays the only thing we have to celebrate in our elder years? Again, of course not. But what else warrants celebrating? It’s not likely we are starting new jobs or getting a promotion at work. Many have already had the ‘retirement celebration’. Now, in our elder years, we are learning how to celebrate the end of life of our friends, with more light-hearted funerals and wakes (and maybe even entertaining ideas of what our own will be like).
But is there room, before we get to that point, that we can embrace celebration in an extraordinarily ordinary day?
Celebrating our elder years, really, has very little to do with ‘birth-days’. It is about The Way* we are living.
When we are truly connected with our own divinity, when we appreciate our connection with other people, when we become an observer of life and learn to ‘read the situation’ of what is possible outside the narrative we are sold by the media or the government of the day, every day can become a celebration.
No party favours, no whistles required. Not even being the centre of attention from others is needed for us to feel the joy – to enjoy our life, and in this there is celebration.
During a walk on a familiar road, I was enraptured with the light as it shone on the neighbour’s drive. These moments of noticing, of being aware of being present, make an ordinary day extraordinary and worth celebrating.
The other day I was having an esoteric healing session in a quiet room in a clinic. When the practitioner removed the eye pillow, I was bathed in this glorious sunbeam that was filtering through a skylight. I felt such joy in that moment because of the quality of light that infilled the room. Although this experience was very momentary (since I needed to get off the table and make room for the next client), it was a moment that turned into a celebration of my whole day.
I was celebrating the sunlight and I was celebrating my awareness of it, my appreciation of the quality of the light. It was an extraordinarily ordinary day that became a Celebration of The Way* I live.
Footnote
*The Way refers to the current era teachings of The Ageless Wisdom which is commonly known as The Way of The Livingness, as presented by the world teacher, Serge Benhayon.
Gayle C., Australia
Recently a friend of mine marked another decade with a big birthday celebration. Being not so long after the covid restrictions had eased, he and his girlfriend wanted to have a house full of friends. It was a fancy-dress party. The costumes were fun, beautifully creative and added a great deal of sparkle to a glorious evening of seeing people we hadn’t seen in a couple of years due to the lockdowns. The food was spectacular, there was live music and a dance floor packed with laughter and dancers were aged from 2 years to, hmmm, maybe 80 years.
Another friend of mine, recently turning 70, would have been quite content to have a family dinner, not even a need for a cake. But his family had a different idea – a surprise party! And they managed to pull it off. He didn’t have a clue until he arrived home that afternoon and wondered what the marquee set up in the garden was about. The family had decided the marquee was a soft landing on what would be 70 people shouting “Surprise!” when he walked into the house. Although my friend would have been fulfilled by a quiet family dinner, there was no doubting his joy at having the unexpected celebration in honour of his amazing self!
If we are ‘in the moment’, not fixed with any expectation of our birthday being quiet or extravagant, we go with the flow of what presents, and can enjoy either option equally.
And in last month’s Joy of Ageing Esoterically newsletter, we had the experience of reading about Jonathan, Kehinde and Elaine’s joint birthday celebration. So, clearly having big, glorious celebrations is something that we can do in our elder years and do very well. No problem at all!
Having spent my 69th birthday in Paris (a dream come true type of birthday), there was no way I could top that for my 70th, nor did I want to try. I just wanted a quiet dinner with a couple of friends. That was what was right for me the year I turned 70.
Is there a right or wrong way of how, or even if, we should celebrate that day on the calendar that we took our first breath (this lifetime)? Of course not. And are birthdays the only thing we have to celebrate in our elder years? Again, of course not. But what else warrants celebrating? It’s not likely we are starting new jobs or getting a promotion at work. Many have already had the ‘retirement celebration’. Now, in our elder years, we are learning how to celebrate the end of life of our friends, with more light-hearted funerals and wakes (and maybe even entertaining ideas of what our own will be like).
But is there room, before we get to that point, that we can embrace celebration in an extraordinarily ordinary day?
Celebrating our elder years, really, has very little to do with ‘birth-days’. It is about The Way* we are living.
When we are truly connected with our own divinity, when we appreciate our connection with other people, when we become an observer of life and learn to ‘read the situation’ of what is possible outside the narrative we are sold by the media or the government of the day, every day can become a celebration.
No party favours, no whistles required. Not even being the centre of attention from others is needed for us to feel the joy – to enjoy our life, and in this there is celebration.
During a walk on a familiar road, I was enraptured with the light as it shone on the neighbour’s drive. These moments of noticing, of being aware of being present, make an ordinary day extraordinary and worth celebrating.
The other day I was having an esoteric healing session in a quiet room in a clinic. When the practitioner removed the eye pillow, I was bathed in this glorious sunbeam that was filtering through a skylight. I felt such joy in that moment because of the quality of light that infilled the room. Although this experience was very momentary (since I needed to get off the table and make room for the next client), it was a moment that turned into a celebration of my whole day.
I was celebrating the sunlight and I was celebrating my awareness of it, my appreciation of the quality of the light. It was an extraordinarily ordinary day that became a Celebration of The Way* I live.
Footnote
*The Way refers to the current era teachings of The Ageless Wisdom which is commonly known as The Way of The Livingness, as presented by the world teacher, Serge Benhayon.
Gayle C., Australia